BY THE SEA, BY THE SEA, BY THE BEAUTIFUL SEA

This whole trip came about from seeing an ad for the Blue Bay Inn, a “European style boutique hotel” in Atlantic Highlands, in the playbill for the musical I had seen in Red Bank at the end of May. I investigated the website, just curious, and while there, in the site’s section on “Getaway Packages”, I discovered the First Avenue Playhouse and learned that the next production was ROOMMATES, a comedy, with the following description:

“This is the first comedy by our own resident playwright Joe Simonelli, and the one for which The Asbury Park Press dubbed him 'the next Neil Simon'. Self styled ladies man Frank Avino, a divorced, forty something accountant and aspiring writer lets his pretentious friend Tom move in with him 'temporarily' only to find that Tom won't leave. Throw into the mix Frank's eccentric mother from Brooklyn and his latest flame and you have a recipe for fun.”

I next checked out the Playhouse site and found that they offered dinner theatre packages – “Start off the evening with a great dinner at 6:30 pm, and then on to the First Avenue Playhouse, for dessert, coffee and a great show”. Dinner was available at three area restaurants – Memphis Pig Out, Julia’s and Gianna’s.

The Blue Bay Inn site “Destination Information” section mentioned the Atlantic Highland Princess, which offered “Victorian Style Riverboat sailing the Navesink & Shrewsbury Rivers”. Presumably the two rivers of the Two Rivers Theatre Company in Red Bank. A sightseeing Cruise was offered on Friday afternoons.

And it turned out that everything, the theatre, the restaurants, the inn, and the cruise, was within walking distance on the same street – First Avenue (as one would deduce from the name of the Playhouse). The Avenue even has a movie theatre. So I decided to book an overnight trip – choosing a Thursday evening performance, as I figured that the room rate would be less expensive mid-week. After investigating the three dining choices online I selected Julia’s, “an elegant dining experience with an Italian Mediterranean inspired menu”.

I have a friend and client who had lived in Atlantic Highlands, a retired fire chief who I first met while on one of the Railroad Passenger Services Corporation escorted cross-country rail trips in the 1980s. Learning of my weekly visits to Ocean Grove to see my parents, he had invited me to stop in and visit him. But it was too late to see him on this trip, as he moved to Georgia last year.

After a hearty breakfast at the diner on Route 440 I headed out on Routes 1+9 to 35 to 36. I located First Avenue and checked it before going back to Route 36 South. As check-in was not until 3:00 pm, and there was no afternoon cruise on Thursday, I was off to the multiplex on Route 35, near Neptune, to see GET SMART.

My previous experience with Route 36 was taking it briefly each tax season to pick up a return in Union Beach (the First Avenue turn-off was about 8 miles from Union Beach), and taking it from Route 35 to the Monmouth Park racetrack a few years ago. I had never been in between, so I thought I would take 36 South to Route 35.

After passing Sandy Hook it turned into a leisurely drive along the ocean through several Monmouth county communities. At Long Branch Route 36 North and South suddenly became Route 36 East and West at a right turn, which soon brought me to Route 35 by the Monmouth Mall.

Returning to Atlantic Highlands I checked into Blue Bay Inn and found myself with a small but comfortable room on the second floor overlooking First Avenue. I then went out to explore the area, walking down to the Municipal Marina at the bottom of First Avenue to see where I would be taking the cruise. The marina also has a ferry that shuttles back and forth to Manhattan.

The menu offerings at Julia’s were quite interesting, but, as anticipated, since I was on a theatre package I was given a special menu with choice of salad (Caesar) and a limited selection of entrees (Crab Cake). I taught another bartender (I have lost count) how to make a Stinger, which he did very well – so well I had a second. The dinner, from the rolls to the salad with a tasty dressing to the crab cake, was excellent, served in a relaxing but formal setting with a tape of Michael Buble playing in the background. I will certainly return here in the future, and next time I will not limit my dining choices.

The First Avenue Playhouse is a “desert theatre”, as was mentioned on the website. The seating is “Las Vegas style” (at least the old-fashioned Las Vegas style of my earlier visits to Nevada), with tables of various sizes set in front of the stage instead of traditional theatre seating. Upon presenting my ticket I was directed to a private table and took a paper plate with carrot cake from a counter on the way. A pot of coffee was placed on the table. The carrot cake was quite good. At intermission we were given plastic glasses of soda.

As one would expect from the title and description, ROOMMATES is a poor man’s ODD COUPLE (I wonder if this is why the Asbury Park Press referred to the author as “the next Neil Simon”?). The lead even refers to his roommate as “Felix Unger” in the play. It certainly is not up to the level of a Neil Simon, although it had some chuckles and amusing situations. The stereotypical nagging mother was perhaps a highlight. She would write to the Pope each week and believed she received his response in code in the local parish priest’s sermons.

The production was obviously amateur, which is not always bad. The “divorced, forty something accountant and aspiring writer” was portrayed by the play’s author. While ROOMMATES is supposedly “semi-autobiographical”, he was not necessarily the best choice for the part.

Bottom line – just about everything in the play has already been done much better elsewhere. Although with more polished actors and direction I might have found the show funnier.

The theatre also needs some technical upgrades. The stage manager would signal the lighting man in the back of the room by means of a flashlight stuck out of the side of the curtain.

The Playhouse will be doing the political drama THE BEST MAN in July and another comedy by Joe Simonelli, this time with him directing, titled MEN ARE DOGS in August. I am not sure if I will return for either, although I do want to give the company another chance before writing it off.

FYI, the theatre also presents productions of the “Paper Moon Puppet Theatre” every Saturday at 2 p.m. The current show is THE WIZARD OF OZ.

The next morning was extremely hot and humid. After the complimentary continental breakfast (nothing special – just orange juice, coffee and two types of pastries) I decided to pass on the afternoon cruise and return home early. Check out time was 11:00 am and I didn’t want to hang around and sweat for a couple of hours. Unlike Ocean Grove, I could not sit in the shade on the boardwalk and read a mystery – no boardwalk here. Besides I was concerned about leaving Nosey in a hot apartment for another full day.

I will wait until perhaps the early fall to return for the cruise and another dinner at Julia’s.

TTYL

NO CURE LIKE TRAVEL

Here is some good news for travelers in the New York City metropolitan area.

I was saddened when BISS TOURS closed its doors a few years ago. BISS, which got into financial trouble when it took over PARKER TOURS, had offered one, two, three-day and longer escorted bus tours of the US and Canada with a pick-up point in Hoboken. I had taken a few which, for the most part, were enjoyable and came off with minimal “hitches”.

With BISS gone my only alternative for escorted motorcoach travel was to schlep all the way down to Trenton for STARR TOURS, which I had done before discovering PARKER and BISS. This requires either rising before the sun to take the train from Newark or incurring additional expense by staying overnight in a motel on Route 1 and again rising in the dark to take a taxi to Trenton.

I enjoy escorted bus trips. You only need to book, pack your bag, and board the bus; everything is taken care of for you. And the cost is relatively all-inclusive and extremely reasonable, even with the single supplement – a substantial savings over doing it all on one’s own.

Just as I was about to request the latest STARR TOURS catalog I saw an ad in the Sunday News for CROSBY TOURS - “New York’s premier tour operator.” As soon as I was back at my computer I checked out the website and discovered that CROSBY had taken up where BISS left off. I promptly ordered a catalog, which just arrived.

It is obvious from the lay-out of the catalog, the description of the trips and tours, and the location of the pick-up points that CROSBY is a re-organized BISS.

Several one-day, two-day and three-day tours have caught my eye – and I will be sure to post the trip narratives here at ABT after I have taken them.

In the meanwhile I suggest that you go to the website and request a copy of the catalog.

TTYL

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

I finally got down to “the Grave”, or actually Neptune, for at least an overnight. It was a fitting end to two wonderful weeks that were completely “1040 Free”!

I drove down Saturday morning, stopping for breakfast at a diner on Route 9 South. When I got to Ocean Grove I found that it was the day of the Giant Spring Flea Market on Ocean Pathway. As a result just about every parking space in town was taken. Instead of sitting on the boardwalk and reading comic books I sat on a bench alongside Fletcher Lake at the South End border and read.

I also checked out the Asbury Park boardwalk, but there was much construction going on to the various buildings and storefronts. I did discover that Tony Bennett would be doing a benefit concert for the Boys and Girls Club of Monmouth County at the Paramount Theatre on Saturday, June 28th.

It started to rain so I headed to the Crystal Inn at the Routes 35+66 circle, where I had booked a room through hotel.com, to change clothes.

The major reason for this trip was to see the Two River Theatre Company’s production of the original musical MARK TWAIN’S A MURDER, A MYSTERY & A MARRIAGE, with book and lyrics by TRTC Artistic Director Aaron Posner (who also directed) and music by James Sugg, in Red Bank – the final production of the company’s 2007-2008 Theatre Series.

I bought my ticket for the 3:00 pm matinee “at the door” ($38.00) and got an excellent 6th row center seat – I couldn’t have asked for a better one.

The bluegrass musical, which had its world premiere in April 2006 at the Delaware Theatre Company, takes place in Deer Lick, Missouri. It is based on a short story written by Mark Twain in 1876. The small cast, which included an original member of the 50’s singing group The Diamonds (Little Darlin’), did a great job in a very entertaining show. Two thumbs up! They even managed to plug the new 2008-2009 season subscription and advise the audience to turn off cell phones and refrain from opening candy wrappers during the show as part of the opening number.

For dinner I decided to try the newly opened “Old Man Rafferty’s”, which is in the renovated Steinbach Building on Cookman Avenue in Asbury Park. I had a good Meat Loaf dinner and treated myself to Oreo Cookie Cheesecake.

After dining I headed to the Beach Cinema in Bradley Beach, a true “old-fashioned” small town movie theatre, for the 7:00 PM showing of IRON MAN. The ticket price had increased since I last visited – it was now $5.75!

After checking out on Sunday morning I headed to Ocean Grove, where the parking was back to normal, and breakfast of Oatmeal and Pancakes at “The Starving Artist”. I read the paper on the Boardwalk before taking in what turned out to be a private showing of the new INDIANA JONES movie at the multiplex on Route 35 at 11:00 AM.

I had considered taking in the Sunday 3:00 pm matinee of the world premiere of the Billy Van Zandt (brother of rocker Steve Van Zandt and husband of Adrienne Barbeau) and Jane Milmore farce WRONG WINDOW at Brookdale Community College, but decided to head home to my hungry cat instead.

Billy and Jane have written tons of such slapstick farces, a la tv’s THREE’S COMPANY (although not as good). Actually they have written one basic farce and changed the characters and titles some 20+ times. I have seen several of their plays at the Ritz Company Playhouse in Hawley PA, and will probably be able to see this one there in a year or two.

Now that I am back I must take up the GD extensions again, and hopefully have them all done by the end of June!

TTYL

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Last fall I paid a “successful” visit to the Hotel Thayer via a Short Line overnight package, so I thought I would try another one. This time I chose the Historic Newburgh trip.

The tour package, which cost only $190.00 for a Single, was described as follows - “Enjoy the Newburgh waterfront, take a two-hour cruise on the Hudson River, dine at a fine restaurant, and spend time relaxing”. Looking back, the trip was a bit of a jinx – but it certainly could have been a lot worse.

As with all such Short Line offerings, the trip begins at the Port Authority Bus Terminal in NYC. I had two options for departure - 8:30 AM and 10:00 AM. I decided not to have to rise at the crack of dawn, so I selected the later departure time. When booking I was also given the choice of staying at a Ramada Inn or a local bed and breakfast. I chose the Ramada Inn.

I arrived at the Port Authority well ahead of time and had breakfast at Deli Plus before checking in at the Short Line window on the 2nd floor to pick up my instructions, tickets and vouchers. I must point out that I was not given any mention or warning of what might occur by the agent.

The bus, of the Orange County line, was also the one for Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, which apparently is a very popular stop. The lines at Gate 310 were constant, and at one point almost “out the door”. At about 9:45 AM I checked with the gate to see if the current line for my bus. I was told yes and when I asked if I had to go all the way to the end of the line (which was long enough to fill two complete buses) I was asked for my ticket and allowed to board ahead of the “unwashed masses”. So far, so good.

We left on time and took the Lincoln Tunnel to NJ and eventually to Routes 17, 287, and 87 North in New York State. The first stop was Woodbury Common, where all but 7 passengers “debussed”. At about 11:50 AM we were let off at the Short Line Terminal in Newburgh.

The online description of the trip said that I would first go from the Terminal to the Ramada Inn. However the instructions I received that morning said I should call for a free taxi to Newburgh Landing where I would board the Pride of the Hudson for a 2-hour narrated cruise scheduled to leave at 1:00 PM.

According to the Hudson River Adventures website, I would be treated to a cruise on the Hudson with narration by the Captain of the sights along the River including Mt. Beacon, Bannerman Island, Storm King Mountain, Breakneck Mountain, The Catskill Aqueduct, World's End, Cold Spring, and West Point.

I got to the waterfront and located the Pride of the Hudson, but was told that (1) on Thursdays the cruise began at 2:30 PM (it does not run at all on Monday or Tuesday) and (2) there may not be enough passengers to justify running the cruise. Because I was booked in advance by Short Line the ship would go out with just me if I so insisted. I said that I certainly did not want to make them run the cruise just for me and was offered as an alternative the Bannerman Island Cruise and Walking Tour, which apparently was definitely going out, also at 2:30. I was told to go have lunch and return a little after 2:00 to see what was what.

I was actually glad that the cruise departure would be 2:30 instead of 1:00. The package included a $15.00 discount coupon for lunch at the nearby Torches on the Hudson Restaurant and Bar, and I would much prefer lunch at 1:00 to waiting until after 3:00.

I walked to Torches and had an excellent lunch of Seafood Chowder, Crab Cake Sandwich, and Apple Cobbler a la mode. The restaurant’s “Aqua Bar” is the talk of the town, as it features a huge 6,000 gallon salt water aquarium which houses 30 varieties of fish. While dining I overheard someone from another table mentioning that the Bannerman Island excursion involved lots of climbing and walking on steep and rocky ground – so I decided that I would not accept this as an alternative.

I got back to the dock and was told that the ship would not go out unless I insisted and asked, with hopeful anticipation, if I would accept the alternative cruise. I reiterated that I did not want to make the ship waste money if I was the only passenger, but also said that I did not feel like traipsing around an island that I had never heard of, especially as I was schlepping my overnight bag (there were no lockers for storing baggage at the small Short Line Terminal). I said not to worry – I would write to Short Line when I returned and get a “rain check” of some sort.

The ship’s representative was appreciative of my reaction and gave me two (2) gift certificates for a future offering of the cruise and her card so I could get a complimentary cocktail at the ship’s open bar when I came back.

As an aside, my trip to the Hotel Thayer last year was also supposed to include a Hudson River cruise – but the cruise was also not running during my booking and I received a voucher for a free lunch at the hotel instead.

I next decided to explore the waterfront, which, according to the online tour description, “is enjoying a renaissance with 4 new restaurants offering both indoor and outdoor dining, great shops, spa and a shoreline walkway that offers spectacular views”. I discovered only restaurants and bars and a liquor store (where I could get a 10% discount) – but no “great shops”.

The weather all that morning and afternoon was odd. It would start to drizzle, then pour for about 5 minutes, then stop while the sun came out – and continue this process again soon thereafter. I did not have an umbrella, but did not get soaked as timing was with me.

With nothing to do at the waterfront, and the downtown area a long uphill climb away, I decided to go to the hotel. The instructions told me to call for a free taxi back to the Short Line Terminal and then call the hotel to request a pick up by their free shuttle van. I looked for a pay phone, but could not find one.

I went back to Torches where I was told by a bus boy (the host/hostess was away from the station) that there were no pay phones in the restaurant (he did not offer to have someone make a call for me)! I walked up and down the waterfront area again looking for a pay phone with no luck. I stuck my head into a few of the other restaurants and bars along the way and asked if they had a pay phone – but there were none.

Frustrated and tired I walked back to the Torches. This time there was a person at the host station. I mentioned that I had lunch there earlier and needed to call for a taxi – but could not find a pay phone. The host called the Short Line’s designed Bob’s Taxi for me. After thanking the host for his service I asked why there were no pay phones at the waterfront – a public park. He alluded to the assumption that none were needed as everyone now had cell phones. Not so, my friend!

When the taxi arrived I decided not to go through the rigmarole of going back to the Terminal and calling for the shuttle and headed directly for the Ramada Inn Hotel and Conference Center Newburgh/West Point. The hotel was outside of town, on Route 300, not a long trip but certainly not close-by. I was pleasantly surprised when the cabbie told me the fare was only $5.00! It would have been at least three times that much in Jersey City – and more in NYC. It was well worth it to avoid the free but time consuming method in my instructions.

The hotel was pleasant and comfortable. But one more comment on the trip’s online description, which read “The hotel offers great entertainment at their lounge/restaurant for you to enjoy!” - there was Karaoke (if that can truly be called entertainment) on Wednesday nights and a band or DJ on the week-ends – but nothing on Thursday nights.

Similarly, the West Point trip description misled one not familiar with the hotel to think that the Eisenhower Theatre was a part of the Thayer and offered nightly entertainment, when in reality it is a separate building on the West Point campus, similar to the PAC in Newark. Short Line needs to be more accurate in its tour descriptions.

I rested in my room and enjoyed the movie MUSIC AND LYRICS (not to be confused with WORDS AND MUSIC – the fictionalized story of the songwriting partnership of Rodgers and Hart with Mickey Rooney and Tom Drake) on HBO before dining in the hotel’s Café International Restaurant. At first I had the dining room entirely to myself, but was soon joined (in the room and not at my table) by another gentleman dining alone, and then another, and eventually a couple. I taught another bartender how to make a Stinger (Brandy and While Crème de Menthe, 3-to-1) and had Chicken Cordon Bleu, with ice cream for dessert.

In the morning I slept in and had a free continental breakfast in the dining room – again relatively empty. It was not what one would call sumptuous, but it was more than sufficient for me.

The main purpose of the trip was basically to get away from New Jersey and the GD extensions, sleep in a large, comfortable bed (a change from my futon) and hopefully have a leisurely bath (my tub is barely big enough to wash my cat). I succeeded in all but the last – as, while bigger than my apartment tub, the facility was not big enough to comfortably satisfy one of my “girth”.

I checked out at 11:00-ish and sat down in the lobby to do some reading, including proof-reading a tax report I had recently compiled (MY BEST TAX ADVICE). The trip description had said, “When you are ready to return to New York City . . . take any of the regularly scheduled departures” from the Short Line Terminal. I had printed out the schedule beforehand and, as there was nothing to do within walking distance, decided to take the 1:30 bus, which would have me back at the Port Authority Bus Terminal at 3:00 PM. I asked the desk if I could get a ride to the Newburgh Terminal via their shuttle at 12:45 or thereabouts.

There were free copies of the local Times Herald-Record newspaper available in the lobby so I picked one up to read. The front page had a picture of a COACH USA (Short Line) bus with the headline “Nightmare commute – Thousands of families scramble as bus drivers strike.” Going inside I found an item “Short Line workers go out on strike”!

Oi vey! I was supposed to get back to NYC on Short Line – this was, after all, a Short Line package tour. I had not read or heard about a possible strike anywhere before leaving the previous morning (not that I was particularly looking for such information) or that morning as a matter of fact, and, as I said at the beginning, I was given no notice or warning that such an action was eminent, or even possible, when I checked in at Port Authority.

I asked the desk if they had any information and was told that they did not know any more than I did. The article mentioned that Short Line was providing free shuttles to train stations at some bus terminals. There was a train station across the Hudson from Newburgh, a $10.00 taxi ride from the hotel. Worst case scenario, if there was no transportation to the train provided I could call the hotel and their shuttle would come back for me and take me to the local small Stewart International Airport where I could get an inexpensive shuttle bus to the train station.

I decided to “play dumb” (no comments please), take the hotel shuttle to the bus terminal as originally planned, and see what Short Line would tell me. It was my firm belief that, as I was booked on a Short Line tour package and not just some “poor slob” commuter, the bus line was obligated to get me back to NYC at no additional cost. If there were any additional “out of pocket” I would certainly have sent the receipts to Short Line headquarters for reimbursement.

I got to the Short Line Terminal at about 12:45 PM and was told that Trailways would be honoring Short Line tickets, and a Trailways bus would be arriving shortly to take me to NYC. The actual only inconvenience incurred was having to walk the entire length of the parking lot to the revised bus pick-up point (again the inconvenience resulting from my “girth”).

A bus came at 1:00 and I boarded for a non-stop return trip. I was in NYC by 2:30 – a half hour earlier than planned – and by 3:20 I was being greeted at the door to my apartment by a hungry cat!

As I said in the beginning – it could have been a lot worse! Kudos to Short Line and Trailways for working out a deal so that I was not in any way affected by the strike.

While I would book another Short Line overnight in the future, I would make sure to do a lot more homework on the destination and itinerary before doing so.

TTYL