LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY!

Kudos to former Kid in the Hall and star of the tv sitcom NEWS RADIO Dave Foley for his recent comments on so-called “reality” television!

Foley is quoted in Sunday’s THIS JUST IN feature of the New York News VUE television magazine as saying –

“It’s not real. The situations aren’t real. The only real reality TV is the evening news. It takes a real actor to act real. You put just anyone in front of a camera and what they deliver will look phony. In terms of comedy, I like something skillfully put together, and not with someone making an ass of himself.”

Foley wishes, like any intelligent person, that “reality would just go away.”

I wish more actors and performers would come out against the steaming pile of excrement that reality tv is.

TTYL

PERFUME CAN COVER A STENCH. THAT’S WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE FRENCH.

Shame on USA TODAY for giving any kind of credibility to the VH1 “celeb-reality” garbage, such as “Rock of Love”, “I Love New York”, and “Flavor of Live”, with a Cover Story on the front page of Thursday’s LIFE section.

All the perfume in France could not cover up the stench coming from this collection of soft-core porn steaming piles of excrement.

Speaking of excrement, when a panel of “stars” from VH1 was asked about the most memorable moments from the shows, Flavor Flav said, “One of the most memorable moments in the history of reality TV was when that girl shit on my floor.”

Someone else responded, “No, I’d say it’s Mini-Me pissing on the carpet” from “The Surreal Life”.

TTYL

THE GUILTY ONES

They have got to be kidding!

An article on my mail.com home page on Saturday reported:

“The Federal Communications Commission has proposed a $1.4 million fine against 52 ABC Television Network stations over a 2003 broadcast of cop drama NYPD Blue.

The fine is for a scene where a boy surprises a woman as she prepares to take a shower. The scene depicted 'multiple, close-up views' of the woman's 'nude buttocks' according to an agency order issued late Friday.

FCC's definition of indecent content requires that the broadcast ‘depicts or describes sexual or excretory activities' in a ‘patently offensive way’ and is aired between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. The agency said the show was indecent because ‘it depicts sexual organs and excretory organs -- specifically an adult woman's buttocks.’

The agency rejected the network's argument that ‘the buttocks are not a sexual organ.’”

The fact that this scene was telecast almost 5 years ago aside, this is ridiculous!

If the definition of “indecent content” requires that the broadcast “depicts excretory activities in a patently offensive way” than just about every show in the genre of “reality tv” should be fined. After all, what is reality tv but the product of an “excretory activity”. And reality tv shows are without a doubt “patently offensive”?

TTYL

YOU CAN SELL SHIT AND GET THANKS – THAT’S WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE YANKS

The ongoing writers’ strike may end up doing more damage to the television landscape than one might expect.

As the networks run out of “scripted” shows, and viewers tire of re-runs, they are turning to “reality tv” excrement and dumbed-down game shows (we are not talking about What’s My Line or Password here) and hybrid crap like American Gladiator to fill their timeslots.

In many cases the replacements are doing almost as good, and sometimes better, than the real entertainment that they are replacing. And, as they involve no creative talent, they are a lot cheaper to produce.

In an article on the front page of the LIFE section of USA Today last Wednesday, CBS program planning chief Kelly Kahl is quoted as saying, “When you can do better than the shows you’re replacing at a fraction of the cost, it’s going to drive you to do more. And as time goes by, writers can end up losing slots for scripted shows.”

The writers won’t be the only losers. Their fellow artisans - actors, directors, stunt people, etc, etc, etc - will also find less work. And, as I have always said when it comes to the so-called “reality” offerings, the biggest losers will be the American public, who will be denied the option of true entertaining and educational television. We will be forced to choose between watching excessively fat people be berated while going through hoops trying to lose weight fast, or total “cafones” swapping wives for other than sex, or nothing.

I have heard word that “Challenge of the Network Stars" is returning. Oi vey!

And don’t think cable will offer many alternatives. With the need to fill 24 hours a day with something, cable stations, mostly subsidiaries of broadcast channels, are producing what is undoubtedly the worst steaming piles of human waste ever shown on the small screen (watch THE SOUP on “E” to see clips of just how horrible tv can be).

Forget “wardrobe malfunctions” – cable stations VH1, MTV, Oxygen and even “E” (which at least pokes fun at itself on THE SOUP – probably the only show on that station worth watching) should be fined for its content, which does more harm to impressionable younger viewers than a brief peak at a singer’s tit.

Thank God I just found Fan Cast!

TTYL

IF I HAD MY DRUTHERS

Do you want to know what I want for Christmas? I would like all the steaming piles of excrement of the “reality tv” genre banned from broadcast and cable television by the FCC.

Granted “little people”, while faced with some unique challenges, are just like anyone else, and have families and lives just like anyone else. But I do not want to watch them go about their everyday life.

I do not want to watch a woman give birth, or a family raise children.

I do not want to watch the lower classes bicker at work, whether at a beauty parlor or one of several tattoo parlors.

I do not want to watch brain dead college drop-outs living and playing together.

I do not want to watch the work and personal lives of anyone unfold, regardless of their level of income or degree of celebrity.

I do not want to watch total idiots degrade themselves for the sake of greed or to get a mate.

Pardon my “French”, but there is really no other word that describes what America has mis-named reality television than shit – human excrement.

At its worst it is gross soft-core pornography (i.e. the VH1, MTV, and E! offerings) and at its basic bad it is people of low intelligence and no self-esteem being humiliated. None of these offerings have an ounce of entertainment, educational, or socially redeeming value. And I challenge anyone to provide an intelligent explanation otherwise.

So Santa, do you have any pull at the FCC?

TTYL

"WELL, THAT’S WHAT COMES FROM TOO MUCH PILLS AND LIQUOR”

The NOW section of this past Sunday’s edition of New York City’s DAILY NEWS featured the “Useless Celebrity Index” – and calculated 2007’s “biggest waste of space”.

The winner was someone I have never heard of – Heidi Montag. She apparently is from the MTV “fake” reality show (aren’t they all?) THE HILLS, which I have also never heard of, and currently makes her living getting paid for appearing at parties and acting badly (the others on the list do it for free). #2, an appropriate distinction, was Kim Kardashian, another stranger to me. She is the daughter of late OJ Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian and is famous for a sex-tape leaked on the internet.

Speaking of sex-tapes on the internet, as expected Paris Hilton also make the list. Like the top two space wasters, Hilton has absolutely no talent and is basically just “famous for being famous”.

Tabloid darlings Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, also as expected, rounded out the feature. Spears, a once moderately talented singer of bland generic pop songs, is a has-been at age 26. I expect her career, other than as a party girl, is over. Lindsay Lohan is actually a talented actress when sober, and could make something of her life if she cleans up.

Considering Britney and Lindsay’s initial claims to fame, one hopes that Billy Ray Cyrus is a better parent than the Spears and Lohans were!

Where was “the Donald” on the list? Trump certainly wastes as much space in the media as the 5 girls. Like most of them, he is also someone who is famous for being famous. In discussing his latest useless book he said Rosie O'Donnell (he is obsessed with her) ate like a pig at his wedding, Joy Behar has no talent (what does Trump know of talent – he has none himself), George Clooney is short, and Angelina Jolie is no great beauty (what – did she turn him down?). “I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she’s not - I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she’s not,” the arsehole told Larry King.

I am sick and tired of being bombarded with celebrity non-news everywhere I turn. I don’t need to know, and don’t care, that Hulk Hogan’s wife wants a divorce, or that Paris Hilton did a pole dance at a New York City club, or that “Dog” the bounty hunter still loves the son who sold him out, or anything about anyone who ever appeared on a so-called “reality tv” show. Any person who appears on a piece of excrement from the reality tv genre is a total idiot with no self-respect, someone with absolutely no value – certainly not “newsworthy”.

Supposed entertainment news shows such as “Entertainment Tonight” have really hit bottom. They are nothing more than video tabloids, spending as much time on the likes of the woman addicted to plastic surgery or sad anorexic victims as they do on real movie stars. When “ET” first appeared I would watch it every night – now I never do.

Entertainment news is not “Former 'Bachelor' Contestant Arrested” or “Dennis Rodman Sued Again in Las Vegas”. It is “’Enchanted' Casts $50M Box-Office Spell” or “Producers and Broadway Stagehands Resume Talks” or “At 90, Borgnine Stars in Christmas Film”.

TTYL