SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, GOOD NIGHT

I have come to the realization that I have spread myself too thin with my multiple blogs, tax and otherwise. I have decided to pull the plug on ASK THE TAX PRO and ANYTHING BUT TAXES.

I will occasionally post comments, ramblings and resources on topics from blogging to cats, personal finance, politics, religion, television, theatre, and travel here also – most prominently narratives of my travels and theatre reviews at THE WANDERING TAX PRO.

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I will continue to maintain my THE FLACH REPORT blog for Schedule C filers and the NJ TAX PRACTICE BLOG for tax professionals preparing NJ returns, and will attempt to post to them more often in the future.

TAF!

THE TELEPHONE HOUR

Telephone Scam Alert - Jury Duty Scam!

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I recently received this email scam alert:

”This has been verified by the FBI (their link is also included below). Please pass this on to everyone in your email address book. It is spreading fast so be prepared should you get this call.

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Most of us take those summonses for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of fraud has surfaced.

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The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo; your identity was just stolen.

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The fraud has been reported so far in 11 states, including Oklahoma , Illinois , and Colorado . This (swindle) is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully people into giving information by pretending they are with the court system. The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on their web sites, warning consumers about the fraud.”

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Check it out here: http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm and here: http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp

TTYL

SORRY...GRATEFUL

I just heard of the passing of George Furth (see also here).

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Although probably best known as a collaborator of Stephen Sondheim – he wrote the book for Sondheim musicals COMPANY (an all-time favorite of mine – I produced it in Hudson County in 1973), for which he won a Tony and Drama Desk Award (I do seem to recall the COMPANY started out as a series of one-act plays by Furth), and MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG and co-wrote with SS the murder mystery GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER (which I saw during its brief Broadway run) – I remember him best as a character actor from television of the 1960s and early 1970s. He appeared in 85 tv episodes and movies from 1962 through 1998.

I was in the audience of a Broadway show, I do not remember which one, sitting behind two Hollywood legends (one was Jane Powell, but I do not recall the name of the other). During intermission George Furth came over to talk to the ladies.

Furth also wrote the book for Kander and Ebb’s 1977 Liza Minelli vehicle THE ACT and the play TWIGS.

George will live on forever in sitcom reruns.

TTYL

AIN’T BROADWAY GRAND!

This year’s free "Broadway on Broadway" concert, held each year in Times Square to launch the beginning of each Broadway season, has been scheduled for Sunday, September 14th.

This concert gives potential audiences a sneak preview of new musicals, performances from long-running favorites, and special appearances from current Broadway stars.

Co-sponsored by the Broadway League and the Times Square Alliance, "Broadway on Broadway" begins at 11:30am, but you should arrive a couple hours early if you want to get up close to the stage.

The concert is generally broadcast on television – on Channel 4 (NBC) locally I believe.

TTYL

THE TWO GREATEST WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE – MUSICAL COMEDY!

Here is a listing of some of the shows that will be offered by this year’s New York Musical Theatre Festival.

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FYI, the venues selected for the 2008 NYMF musicals include: American Theater of Actors -Chernuchin Theatre (314 W. 54th Street), The Barrow Group Theater (312 W. 36th Street), The 45th Street Theatre (354 W. 45th Street), 37 Arts (450 W. 37th Street), and The Zipper Factory (337 W. 37th Street).

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Bonnie & Clyde

Book by Hunter Foster; Music and Lyrics by Rick Crom

Bonnie & Clyde is a toe-tappin', gun-slingin', cross-dressin' romp through the Depression-era Southwest, where America's most famous criminal duo find themselves runnin’ from J. Edgar Hoover and straight into each other’s arms…as long as they don’t kill each other first.

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The Bubble: A Musical Dot-Comedy

Book by Karen J. Paull, Music by David Pack; Lyrics by Karen J. Paull and David Pack

Welcome to Silicon Valley, circa 1999, a magical place packed with scooter parks, massage parlors…and “options”…in something called…THE DOT COM. Nobody knows what it is but everybody wants a piece, including Matt. Will his greed get the better of him? Or will he flush his future down the toilet to join hottie hippie Harmony’s quest to save the oh-so-rare yellow-bellied hoo-doo?

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College: The Musical

Book, Music and Lyrics by Drew Fornarola & Scott Elmegreen

Endless parties. Skipping classes. Drunken hook-ups. And…um…finding yourself? Welcome to College: The Musical, a slice of contemporary dorm life and one hook-up you WILL remember the next morning.

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The Fancy Boys Follies

Book and Lyrics by David Pevsner, Music by Michael Skloff, Jamie Forsyth, Michael Orland, Mark Hummel, Chris Lavely & David Pevsner

Down and dirty meets brains and heart as five sexy men sing, dance, and strip in this hilarious low-rent gay "Ziegfeld Follies" from one of the creators of "Naked Boys Singing". Filthy...but FABULOUS!!!

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The Hatpin

Book and Lyrics by James Millar, Music by Peter Rutherford

When impoverished single Australian mother Amber Murray finds herself with no choice but to board her ailing son with a kindly rich couple, she unknowingly embarks on a journey that will change the lives of women everywhere. Uncover the grim secret behind The Hatpin in this gut-wrenching musical drama inspired by a true story from the late 19th century.

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Heaven in Your Pocket

Book by Mark Houston, Francis J. Cullinan & Dianne Sposito, Music and Lyrics by Mark Houston

What’s a broad to do when her no-good ex-husband dies and leaves their daughter his run-down Kansas City juke joint in his will? Tap your toes and clap along as you watch the incorrigible Arlene Davis pack the other two members of the “Heavenly Belles” singing trio – her daughter Kay Lee and her best friend Celeste – into the pickup and high-tail it to Kansas City for a fresh start!

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I Come For Love

Book, Music and Lyrics by Terrence Atkins and Jeffery Lyle Segal

A jaded reporter in search of a story. An adorable alien looking for love. A small town diner in need of a waitress. Intergalactic sparks and saucers fly in this screwball comedy that might just turn out to be the story of the century.

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Idaho!

Book and Lyrics by Buddy Sheffield, Music by Buddy Sheffield and Keith Thompson

Whip Masters, Jed Strunk, Slim Johnson, Aunt Pearlie and the rest of the good folks from IDAHO! are rarin’ to introduce you to potato country’s simplest pleasures -- spud-peelin', dancin' and devirginizin’ – in this bawdy new musical that satirizes and pays homage to Broadway’s most beloved classics.

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Max and the Truffle Pig

Book by Suzanne Bradbeer, Music by Bert Draesel and Lyrics by Nancy Leeds, Based on the story by Judith Gwyn Brown

A 9-year-old aspiring chef and his beloved pig Suzette head deep into the French woods in search of the legendary…the elusive…the absolutely positively most delicious of all delicious foods…the truffle. Will they find it in time for the Countess’s royal dinner? The answer lies in this oinkingly delightful new musical based on the book by the author of “The Mask of the Dancing Princess.”

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Play It Cool

Book by Larry Dean Harris and Martin Casella, Lyrics by Mark Winkler, Music by Phillip Swann, with additional musical contributions by David Benoit, Michael Cruz, Marilyn Harris, Robert Kraft, Emilio Palame, Joe Pasquale and Dan Siegel. Directed by Sharon Rosen

It’s 1953 and there’s only one jazz club in town for boys seeking boys and girls seeking girls: Mary’s Hideaway. Welcome to Hollywood, a steamy almost-fairyland where everyone you meet wants to be a star and a few of ‘em might damn well make it…just as long as they PLAY IT COOL.

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She Can’t Believe She Said That!

Book, Music and Lyrics by Matt Prager

The original Kathie Lee-sical. Watch as our plucky heroine converts, cajoles and connives her way through churches, recording studios and one very special long-running talk show to national fame...and international infamy. Take two cups of EVITA, add a gooey pound of cheese and take a big bite of VELVEVITA goodness with this loony satire from one of the writers of SOUTH PARK!

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That Other Woman’s Child

Book, Music and Lyrics by Sherry Landrum & George S. Clinton

When the Hanovers hear their long-lost big city half-sister – “that other woman’s child” – is coming to claim her share of the farm, all heck breaks loose! Little do they know that she’s actually coming to connect with the family she never knew…That Other Woman’s Child is a joyful, bluegrass-laced look at the trials and tribulations of the ties that bind.

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The Road to Ruin

Book, Music and Lyrics by William Zeffiro

Welcome to The Road To Ruin (The 1928 Exploitation Musical)…where sex, bad mommies, worse daddies, bottled water and Christians conspire to bring down Little Sally Canfield, ‘The Nicest Girl at Central High.’

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Villa Diodati

Book by Collette Inez & Mira J. Spektor, Music & Additional Lyrics by Mira J. Spektor, Lyrics by Colette Inez, Additional Lyrics by Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley and William Wordsworth

Switzerland, 1816. Two of literature’s most romantic and haunted couples -- Mary and Percy Bysshe Shelley and their friends Lord Byron and his mistress Claire – spend a summer writing, sailing, telling ghost stories and discovering the joys and tragedies of love in this new chamber musical.

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So far I am thinking of seeing BEDBUGS, COLLEGE: THE MUSICAL, HEAVEN IN YOUR POCKET, I COME FOR LOVE, and THE ROAD TO RUIN.

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TTYL

WHY DO THE WRONG PEOPLE TRAVEL?

Yesterday afternoon I braved the heat (it wasn’t too bad) for a trip to NYC to see the revival of the British comedy SOME AMERICANS ABROAD by Richard Nelson at the Second Stage Theatre on 43rd Street.

I learned about the show when its star, Tom Cavanaugh (tv’s ED), appeared on the CW11 morning news program. I did not at all recall the original production, which appeared at the Vivian Beaumont Theatre in May and June of 1990 with a cast that included Nathan Lane, Kate Burton and a young Elisabeth Shue in a small role.

From the television interview I gathered the play was about a college-sponsored student trip to England. However as it turned out it was not at all what I had thought it would be.

I had expected a story about college students and their reactions to British culture and their interaction with their professors in a different setting. My cousin and her husband, a college art professor, have been escorting student excursions throughout the world for years, and my friend Ann did the same when she taught art at Beaver College (she also once escorted a trip of upper class New Jersey suburbanites to Italy as Director of the now-named Visual Art Center of NJ), and both have many interesting and humorous stories to tell.

But there was barely a student in sight. Instead it dealt with the professors, members of the English department of an un-named New England college led by new Department Chairman Cavanaugh, on an apparent annual pilgrimage to worship at the temples of their “gods” of English literature and theatre that is disguised as a summer course.

The only college students in the play were the Chairman’s daughter, who because of her parentage is forced to spend more time than I am sure she would like in uncomfortable social settings with the professors, and, briefly, a truant girl who gets involved in a “she said, he said” sexual harassment issue in the second Act.

Included among the instructors on the trip is an arse-kissing professor (played by Nathan Lane in the 1990 production), accompanied by his wife, who have paid their own way in the hopes their participation will increase his chances of extending his teaching contract for one more year, knowing full well that he is not on “tenure track”.

To be honest this play is nothing to write home about. In the beginning it was almost difficult to watch. For the most part the professors are typical pompous arseholes who enjoy the sound of their own voice, although you do feel some sympathy for the arse-kisser whose only failing is that he did not graduate from a prestigious enough university. The show, almost twenty years old, did not appear dated – I am sure that college professors of this ilk have not changed much over the years – but was an odd choice to revive.

It has its share of laughs, mostly resulting from interaction with the more secondary characters – the bigoted former department Chairman (excellently played by Broadway veteran John Cunningham), apparently a former professor and mentor of the current tenured profs from whom they still seek advice, who has retired with his wife to England, a bubbly former female student of the current Chairman who has also relocated to the UK and now purchases the theatre tickets for the trip (just as I do when in London it appears that the group attends 2 plays a day), and an “ugly” American tourist who the Chairman encounters during intermission at a Shakespeare play in Stratford-on-Avon.

The professors are certainly cheap. At the end of dinners in a Covent Garden restaurant that begin and end the play they attempt to split the bill literally based on what each had ordered, down to counting how many glasses of wine each had – the arse-kisser’s wife pointing out that the retired Chairman had more than the one bottle of wine he has claimed as the play ends.

As usual I purchased my ticket through tdf for $27.00. My seats were in the third row, again on the extreme aisle, but then no seat in this theatre is bad (I had only been here once before to see a revival of THAT CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON). At $27.00 for the ticket it was an afternoon’s diversion, not distasteful but also not memorable.

TTYL

A LITTLE THIS-A AND A LITTLE THAT-A – WITH THE EMPHASIS ON THE LATTA

Sorry I have not been posting here lately – but I have been busy with the GD extensions and my other blogs. Here is some “stuff” you might find interesting.

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+ FIVE CENT NICKEL reports that a "Brothel Offers Free Gas to Customers".

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+ Did you know - you might be a redneck if you think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.

+ Prompted by the IndyMac Bank failure, Kay Bell of DON’T MESS WITH TAXES gives a good overview of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation in her post “A Look at FDIC Coverage”.

+ Want to know the real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse? You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal” and “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians.

+ According to an article in the entertainment section of my mail.com homepage, talk show host Wendy Williams called Trump’s buddy Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth "a delusional, D-list, pathetic woman" after the two went at it on Williams’ show. Delusional and pathetic pretty much describes every participant in a “so-called” reality tv show – man or woman!

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TTYL

A FAMILY AFFAIR

What a cast! Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Barry Fitzgerald, Debbie Reynolds and Rod Taylor. I am speaking of course of the 1956 movie A CATERED AFFAIR, directed by Richard Brooks. It was written by Gore Vidal and adapted, like Ernest Borgnine’s movie MARTY, from a television play by Paddy Chayefsky, which appeared on the PHILCO TELEVISION PLAYHOUSE in 1955. I had seen the movie many years ago on tv.

Despite the assembled talent it was a small movie with a small story - a story that was not unique for its time. It is a different take on the Spencer Tracy/Elizabeth Taylor FATHER OF THE BRIDE tale, this time told from the perspective of a working class family living in the tenements of the inner city.

It has been turned into a small musical by Harvey Fierstein, who takes on the Barry Fitzgerald role, with words and music by John Bucchino - which I saw Tuesday night, via TDF, at the Walter Kerr Theatre.

According to the synopsis appearing on most Broadway sites, “In 1953, relationships are strained to the limit when a Bronx couple must choose whether to spend their life savings on a family business or to launch their only daughter's marriage with a lavish catered affair”.

While I had been interested in the musical when first announced, being a fan of the film, I was not planning to run to see it. However the closing notice (it will close following the Sunday, July 27 matinee) reported on the Broadway Blog sent me to the TDF site to book a ticket before the final curtain.

I was certainly glad I did!

I said above that it is a “small” musical. As Clive Barnes said in his 4-Star review, “it emerges less like a musical and more like a play with music”. There is no chorus, no big production numbers, a minimalist set, no “bells and whistles” – just a good story (as Clive Barnes says “with an honest heart”) told and acted well.

Parents of the bride Faith Prince and Tom Wopat are certainly not the typical Broadway musical couple. They give wonderful, touching performances in roles quite different from what we are used to seeing them in.

Tom Wopat’s character sums up the frustration of most fathers of the bride faced with paying for “a catered affair” – “A life savings flushed down the drain to feed dinner to a bunch of strangers!”

Harvey Fierstein, as one would expect, sparkles. As he wrote the book, with I expect himself in mind for the character of Winston, Harvey has made the live-in brother-in-law (he sleeps on the pull-out couch) gay – although, in keeping with the setting and context of the story, not “flamboyantly” or stereotypically so.

“This is what we do best,” Winston says as he takes over the details for the catered affair from his overwhelmed sister. “You mean the Irish?” asks the caterer.

The future bride and groom, Leslie Kritzer and Matt Cavenaugh, are also very good. I may have seen Leslie in THE GREAT AMERICAN TRAILER PARK MUSICAL – I will have to dig out my playbill.

The “Who’s Who” bios, which I read while waiting for the show to start, are usually pretty boiler plate. But the entry for Kristine Zbornik, one of the supportive players, caught my eye –

“The NY Daily News called her a ‘madcap mix of Merman, Bette Midler and Lucille Ball’. Her Dad called her ‘a lazy piece of s**t that wouldn’t amount to anything”. You decide. Theatre: An Evening With Joan Crawford (1980), A Catered Affair (2008) and a whole bunch in between. I have a close relationship with Jesus, and he’s a nice guy.”

As is common today there are a dozen separate producers, a few of which are multi-named groups. I guess the days of the David Merrick or Alex Cohen are gone.

The Tuesday evening performance has a unique 7:00 pm curtain, and the show is performed without an intermission. This worked out very well. I had no traffic coming over on the “bootleg” bus (I made it from the Jersey City heights to Port Authority in about a half hour), the restaurant I chose for my “pre-theatre” dinner, a return to La Revista on Restaurant Row for Veal Bolognese (I did not have to teach this bartender how to make a Stinger) was more than half-empty, and I was back in my apartment at a little after 9:30!

My seat, at the TDF price of $39.00, was in the 2nd row on the extreme left – though not too extreme. Not one that I would have necessarily picked, but not bad at all. Lately I have done well with TDF seats – I haven’t risked a nose bleed in quite a while now.

It is a true shame that this “small” musical had to close after such a short run. Pardon my continued rant, but I cannot see why a show such as this cannot survive while RUDE AWAKENING, from what I have seen of it basically teen-agers screaming and cursing for two hours, plays on.

According to Harvey Fierstein’s blog at the show’s listing on Broadwayworld.com - “Unfortunately, the numbers just don't match up with the enthusiasm and, although we have the MOST generous producers on Broadway, this is still a profit-making business and the numbers tell the tale.”

If you are looking for a enjoyable evening at the theatre you should try to see A CATERED AFFAIR before it closes.

TTYL

IDIOT'S DELIGHT

As Hollywoodlife.net reports in the article “Celebrity Feud: The Donald Disses Hathaway” – perennial arsehole “Donald Trump seems to feel the need to express an opinion about everything”, this time weighing in, as if anyone cared, on the recent split between Anne Hathaway and boyfriend Rafaello Follieri, who was recently arrested for fraud.

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Trump, who certainly knows about defrauding, or at least screwing, investors, supports Follieri, saying of Hathaway, “She hasn’t remained very loyal to him, has she? So when he had plenty of money, she liked him, but then after that, not as good, right?”

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The article replies, “Personally we think four years of standing by him with all the shady dealings going on was more than enough”.

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A word to the tonsorially-challenged idiot – Donald, no one gives a damn about what you think about this, or anything else for that matter.

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TTYL

CARNIVAL BALLET

The “Movie Monday Blog Carnival Edition #61” is up over at Missy Frye’s OBSERVATIONS FROM MISSY’S WINDOW.

My posting SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE, A COMEDY TONIGHT is the first entry on the list – the only under the category of” Commentary”. It looks like Missy read my post.

BY THE SEA, BY THE SEA, BY THE BEAUTIFUL SEA

This whole trip came about from seeing an ad for the Blue Bay Inn, a “European style boutique hotel” in Atlantic Highlands, in the playbill for the musical I had seen in Red Bank at the end of May. I investigated the website, just curious, and while there, in the site’s section on “Getaway Packages”, I discovered the First Avenue Playhouse and learned that the next production was ROOMMATES, a comedy, with the following description:

“This is the first comedy by our own resident playwright Joe Simonelli, and the one for which The Asbury Park Press dubbed him 'the next Neil Simon'. Self styled ladies man Frank Avino, a divorced, forty something accountant and aspiring writer lets his pretentious friend Tom move in with him 'temporarily' only to find that Tom won't leave. Throw into the mix Frank's eccentric mother from Brooklyn and his latest flame and you have a recipe for fun.”

I next checked out the Playhouse site and found that they offered dinner theatre packages – “Start off the evening with a great dinner at 6:30 pm, and then on to the First Avenue Playhouse, for dessert, coffee and a great show”. Dinner was available at three area restaurants – Memphis Pig Out, Julia’s and Gianna’s.

The Blue Bay Inn site “Destination Information” section mentioned the Atlantic Highland Princess, which offered “Victorian Style Riverboat sailing the Navesink & Shrewsbury Rivers”. Presumably the two rivers of the Two Rivers Theatre Company in Red Bank. A sightseeing Cruise was offered on Friday afternoons.

And it turned out that everything, the theatre, the restaurants, the inn, and the cruise, was within walking distance on the same street – First Avenue (as one would deduce from the name of the Playhouse). The Avenue even has a movie theatre. So I decided to book an overnight trip – choosing a Thursday evening performance, as I figured that the room rate would be less expensive mid-week. After investigating the three dining choices online I selected Julia’s, “an elegant dining experience with an Italian Mediterranean inspired menu”.

I have a friend and client who had lived in Atlantic Highlands, a retired fire chief who I first met while on one of the Railroad Passenger Services Corporation escorted cross-country rail trips in the 1980s. Learning of my weekly visits to Ocean Grove to see my parents, he had invited me to stop in and visit him. But it was too late to see him on this trip, as he moved to Georgia last year.

After a hearty breakfast at the diner on Route 440 I headed out on Routes 1+9 to 35 to 36. I located First Avenue and checked it before going back to Route 36 South. As check-in was not until 3:00 pm, and there was no afternoon cruise on Thursday, I was off to the multiplex on Route 35, near Neptune, to see GET SMART.

My previous experience with Route 36 was taking it briefly each tax season to pick up a return in Union Beach (the First Avenue turn-off was about 8 miles from Union Beach), and taking it from Route 35 to the Monmouth Park racetrack a few years ago. I had never been in between, so I thought I would take 36 South to Route 35.

After passing Sandy Hook it turned into a leisurely drive along the ocean through several Monmouth county communities. At Long Branch Route 36 North and South suddenly became Route 36 East and West at a right turn, which soon brought me to Route 35 by the Monmouth Mall.

Returning to Atlantic Highlands I checked into Blue Bay Inn and found myself with a small but comfortable room on the second floor overlooking First Avenue. I then went out to explore the area, walking down to the Municipal Marina at the bottom of First Avenue to see where I would be taking the cruise. The marina also has a ferry that shuttles back and forth to Manhattan.

The menu offerings at Julia’s were quite interesting, but, as anticipated, since I was on a theatre package I was given a special menu with choice of salad (Caesar) and a limited selection of entrees (Crab Cake). I taught another bartender (I have lost count) how to make a Stinger, which he did very well – so well I had a second. The dinner, from the rolls to the salad with a tasty dressing to the crab cake, was excellent, served in a relaxing but formal setting with a tape of Michael Buble playing in the background. I will certainly return here in the future, and next time I will not limit my dining choices.

The First Avenue Playhouse is a “desert theatre”, as was mentioned on the website. The seating is “Las Vegas style” (at least the old-fashioned Las Vegas style of my earlier visits to Nevada), with tables of various sizes set in front of the stage instead of traditional theatre seating. Upon presenting my ticket I was directed to a private table and took a paper plate with carrot cake from a counter on the way. A pot of coffee was placed on the table. The carrot cake was quite good. At intermission we were given plastic glasses of soda.

As one would expect from the title and description, ROOMMATES is a poor man’s ODD COUPLE (I wonder if this is why the Asbury Park Press referred to the author as “the next Neil Simon”?). The lead even refers to his roommate as “Felix Unger” in the play. It certainly is not up to the level of a Neil Simon, although it had some chuckles and amusing situations. The stereotypical nagging mother was perhaps a highlight. She would write to the Pope each week and believed she received his response in code in the local parish priest’s sermons.

The production was obviously amateur, which is not always bad. The “divorced, forty something accountant and aspiring writer” was portrayed by the play’s author. While ROOMMATES is supposedly “semi-autobiographical”, he was not necessarily the best choice for the part.

Bottom line – just about everything in the play has already been done much better elsewhere. Although with more polished actors and direction I might have found the show funnier.

The theatre also needs some technical upgrades. The stage manager would signal the lighting man in the back of the room by means of a flashlight stuck out of the side of the curtain.

The Playhouse will be doing the political drama THE BEST MAN in July and another comedy by Joe Simonelli, this time with him directing, titled MEN ARE DOGS in August. I am not sure if I will return for either, although I do want to give the company another chance before writing it off.

FYI, the theatre also presents productions of the “Paper Moon Puppet Theatre” every Saturday at 2 p.m. The current show is THE WIZARD OF OZ.

The next morning was extremely hot and humid. After the complimentary continental breakfast (nothing special – just orange juice, coffee and two types of pastries) I decided to pass on the afternoon cruise and return home early. Check out time was 11:00 am and I didn’t want to hang around and sweat for a couple of hours. Unlike Ocean Grove, I could not sit in the shade on the boardwalk and read a mystery – no boardwalk here. Besides I was concerned about leaving Nosey in a hot apartment for another full day.

I will wait until perhaps the early fall to return for the cruise and another dinner at Julia’s.

TTYL

NO CURE LIKE TRAVEL

Here is some good news for travelers in the New York City metropolitan area.

I was saddened when BISS TOURS closed its doors a few years ago. BISS, which got into financial trouble when it took over PARKER TOURS, had offered one, two, three-day and longer escorted bus tours of the US and Canada with a pick-up point in Hoboken. I had taken a few which, for the most part, were enjoyable and came off with minimal “hitches”.

With BISS gone my only alternative for escorted motorcoach travel was to schlep all the way down to Trenton for STARR TOURS, which I had done before discovering PARKER and BISS. This requires either rising before the sun to take the train from Newark or incurring additional expense by staying overnight in a motel on Route 1 and again rising in the dark to take a taxi to Trenton.

I enjoy escorted bus trips. You only need to book, pack your bag, and board the bus; everything is taken care of for you. And the cost is relatively all-inclusive and extremely reasonable, even with the single supplement – a substantial savings over doing it all on one’s own.

Just as I was about to request the latest STARR TOURS catalog I saw an ad in the Sunday News for CROSBY TOURS - “New York’s premier tour operator.” As soon as I was back at my computer I checked out the website and discovered that CROSBY had taken up where BISS left off. I promptly ordered a catalog, which just arrived.

It is obvious from the lay-out of the catalog, the description of the trips and tours, and the location of the pick-up points that CROSBY is a re-organized BISS.

Several one-day, two-day and three-day tours have caught my eye – and I will be sure to post the trip narratives here at ABT after I have taken them.

In the meanwhile I suggest that you go to the website and request a copy of the catalog.

TTYL

CARNIVAL BALLET

“The Carnival of Cinema: Episode 80 - The Blog Guru” hosted by GOOD NEWS FILM REVIEWS.

I submitted my post SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE, A COMEDY TONIGHT for consideration, and it is included. Although I doubt that the host read the post. Here is how it is introduced –

“For more on great comedies, head over to ANYTHING BUT TAXES! There Richard D. Flach has a list of some wonderful comedic gems.”

Huh? And, by the way, it is Robert, not Richard!

TTYL

I HOPE I GET IT

Here is a Broadway trivia question.
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I recently saw the latest Broadway revival of GYPSY with Patti LuPone as Mama Rose. You can read my review at “Let Me Entertain You”. GYPSY is “loosely” based on the life of stripper Gypsy Rose Lee.
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The character of Gypsy Rose Lee – not the actual person herself - has appeared in two Broadway musicals over the years. Obviously the first was GYPSY. What was the other one?
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No, it is not FORBIDDEN BROADWAY. That review has never been “on” Broadway.
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The first person to email me the correct answer at rdftaxpro@mail.com, with “ABT Trivia Answer” in the “subject” line, will get a prize!
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TTYL

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE, A COMEDY TONIGHT

Contrary to the popular belief of people who make movies today, the various secretions, excretions and expulsions of the human body are not funny. Neither are human genitalia or violence thereto.

Well actually in the right hands anything can be funny. In the right context, with the right set-up and direction, and with the right actor, passing gas or stepping in shit can actually be humorous.

The operative words above are “in the right hands”. Trust me, the likes of Adam Sandler, Mike Myers, Ben Stiller and others, who have made careers out of playing down to the level of pre-teen boys, and the writers and directors who they team with, do not have the right hands.

IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD is perhaps the funniest movie ever made. At the very least it has the best cast of any comedy ever made. It featured just about every well-known comic that was breathing at the time, including Joe E Lewis and the 3 Stooges. {As an aside – it could never be remade in today’s world considering the salary demands of the equivalent level of actors and comics. There have been a few pitiful attempts at making a similar film, with affordable B, C and D level comics and poor direction and writing.} As I recall there was not a single fart in the film.

Nor do I recall either Tony Curtis or Jack Lemmon being kicked in the groin in SOME LIKE IT HOT.

Neither Hope and Crosby, Abbott and Costello nor Martin and Lewis had to resort to bathroom humor to make funny, and profitable, movies.

Back in the days of the popularity of Andrew Dice Clay it was my considered opinion that yuppies had no wit. But if you said “fuck” or “shit” every fifth or sixth word they would think you were hysterical. It seems that today’s movie audiences are the ones without wit. Their sense of humor stopped developing in the 5th and 6th grades.

It is a sad commentary that even a film like Walt Disney’s recent ENCHANTED, with a truly unique idea and witty execution, had to be spoiled by a totally unnecessary and humorless chipmunk shit sight gag.

That is not to say that there are no more truly witty comedies being made. But they are getting fewer and farther between.

TTYL

A LITTLE THIS-A AND A LITTLE THAT-A – WITH THE EMPHASIS ON THE LATTA

Just a few items:

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+ WTF is this Amy Whinehouse who is constantly appearing in the entertainment headlines on my Mail.com and Comcast.net homepages? From what I can tell she is nothing but a crack addict (I took the high ground and refrained from using “ho”). Can someone tell me if she is anything other than the British version of Paris Hilton?

+ CRY BABY: THE MUSICAL, which I blogged about in “Jukebox Jamboree“, will close tomorrow (Sunday) after 68 performances. The show, which was nominated for 4 Tonys including Best Musical, walked away empty-handed last Sunday. While not as good as the musical comedy verion of HAIRSPRAY it was entertaining and deserved a longer life, considering something like RUDE AWAKENING (which I have not seen, and do not expect to) with teen-agers screaming and cursing for 2+ hours plays on.

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+ I also learned via Playbill.com that A CATERED AFFAIR, the new musical by John Bucchino and Harvey Fierstein, who also co-stars, will close on July 27. I may try to see it via tdf before it goes.

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TTYL

LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU

I have seen every Broadway production of GYPSY except for the 1959 original with Ethel Merman and Jack Klugman. I have experienced Angela Lansbury (1974), Tyne Daly (1990) and Bernadette Peters (2003) as Mama Rose. My introduction to the musical was the 1962 movie version with Rosalind Russell, Natalie Wood, and Karl Malden (I seem to recall reading that the show’s creators did not like this version – although I could not find fault). And of course there was Bette Midler’s 1993 television version, and the 1998 Paper Mill Playhouse (Millburn NJ) production with Betty Buckley (and Deborah Gibson as Louise) So it is only natural that I would see the latest incarnation with Patti LuPone – specifically this past Saturday’s matinee.

Mama Rose is perhaps the ultimate female role of the Broadway theatre – a role that is coveted by just about every actress. It has been said that the part, in musical theater terms, rivals "Hamlet." Every Mama Rose has been nominated for the Tony as Best Actress in a Musical, but only Angela Lansbury and Tyne Daly, and now Patti LuPone, have walked home with the statue. Ether Merman lost to Mary Martin in SOUND OF MUSIC and Bernadette Peters lost to Marissa Jaret Winokur in HAIRSPRAY.

The Patti LuPone production came with advanced buzz. During his annual tax season visit this past March a client told me of his housemate’s (he is in “the business”) running into Stephen Sondheim one evening at Sardi’s. SS gave the current production and its star two thumbs way up.

I did not see EVITA on Broadway. My introduction to Patti LuPone (whom I had enjoyed on the television series LIFE GOES ON) as a musical star was the London production of SUNSET BOULEVARD, which I saw while on a Theatre Guild tour in 1993.

This production of GYPSY is perhaps the best I have seen, and Patti LuPone is the best Mama Rose (with the reminder that I did not see Ethel Merman’s performance – I was considered too young at the time – although I did see “the Merm” in the 1966 Lincoln Center revival of ANNIE GET YOUR GUN). As I imagine Ethel Merman to have been, LuPone is indeed a force to be reckoned with as the ultimate stage mother. She received a rare truly spontaneous and heart-felt standing ovation during the closing Rose’s Turn” number, the audience unable to wait until the curtain call.

The supporting cast was also in top form. It seemed to me that their performances were more nuanced and intense, if that is the word, than previous productions, especially Herbie and the “elder” June and Louise. As LuPone sang in SUNSET BOULEVARD, “with one look” they expressed volumes about their intertwined relationships and feelings. Perhaps I was just seeing new things in a familiar show, or it was the talent of the individual actors, or director Arthur Laurents, also the book writer, giving new emphasis (he directed the first two of the earlier revivals and, it seems, was not a fan of the Sam Mendes-directed Bernadette Peters’ version).

Prior to the now standard announcement to turn off cell phones we were told that Patti LuPone’s feet hurt and that she would be doing the performance wearing “isotoners”. I did happen to notice that she was in flats for the entire show. It certainly did not affect her performance – it just highlighted the difference in height between her and other cast members - especially Boyd Gaines (Herbie) and Laura Benanti (Louise).

As is true more often than not, the weatherman was wrong in his prediction that midtown New York City would avoid predicted thundershowers until after dark. Sounds of thunder during the last 15 minutes or so of the show previewed the pouring rain we found ourselves faced with as we exited the St James Theatre. Luckily, due to the continuous construction on 8th Avenue, we were able to stay relatively dry under scaffolding as we hurried from 44th Street to 46th Street for an excellent dinner at the “La Rivista” (The Review”) Italian restaurant on “Restaurant Row”. It had been a long time since I had dined there. I recommend the Veal Bolognese.

The rain had stopped by the time we finished our meal. However, the very minute we “de-bused” in Jersey City it started to pour again. I was soaked almost to the bone by the time I was greeted by Nosey in my apartment a long block from the bus stop.

Seeing GYSPY, and thinking about the current revival of SOUTH PACIFIC, points up what a truly difficult, and disappearing, art it is to write a great Broadway score – a dozen or so individual and distinctive musical numbers that fit perfectly into the show to advance the action of the play, yet can each stand alone as a potential popular standard. Think Richard Rogers, Cole Porter, Frederick Lowe, Jerry Herman, Stephen Sondheim, and, in this case, Jule Styne, and their lyric-writing partners (a young Stephen Sondheim here). Is it just me, or do the individual songs of many a Broadway score today all sound pretty much the same?

TTYL

A LITTLE THIS-A AND A LITTLE THAT-A – WITH THE EMPHASIS ON THE LATTA

+ Fellow Jersey City native Nathan Lane is a hard man to replace. The June 10th posting at BROADWAY BLOG reports that “November To Close On Broadway July 13”. Lane had previously announced that July 13th would be his final performance. Now the David Mamet comedy (see my post “It Gets Lonely In The White House”) has announced that it will close on July 13th.

+ Like BLUEPRINT FOR FINANCIAL PROSPERITY, the Silicon Valley Blogger’s THE DIGERATI LIFE is a goldmine of helpful advice and information. A recent post tells you how to “Help Your Kids Get Rich: Invest Early”.

+ THE FIVE CENT NICKEL, another consistently interesting personal finance blog, provides some information on "What Goes Into the Price of Gas?".

+ FYI, as promised I watched the original John Waters film CRY BABY with Johnny Depp on Comcast ON DEMAND (in the “Free Movies” section). While the Broadway musical adaptation kept some of the characters, images and plot lines from the film, it thankfully reworked, and improved, the story for more “accessibility”. The movie showed us the parents of the delinquents, among them David Nelson, Troy Donahue and Joey Heatherton - so you can see why they turned out so FU-ed - but these characters were cut for the musical.

This afternoon I will be in NYC again for a matinee performance of GYPSY. Look for my review sometime tomorrow.

TTYL

WHERE THE FAKAWI?

I have come down with a serious case of “manana”! I continue to put off to tomorrow (and the day after, and so on) the GD extensions that I should be working on today!

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Drastic measures are called for. Since I spent two weeks “1040 Free” I must now “re-hiate” (is that a word?) and spend a full week “Blog Free”.

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For the entire week beginning Monday, June 16th I will be “locked behind closed doors” catching up on the GD extensions. I will be working at tax season pace.

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I will not be posting to THE WANDERING TAX PRO, ASK THE TAX PRO, THE FLACH REPORT, NJ TAX PRACTICE, or ANYTHING BUT TAXES during this period (unless there is world-shaking breaking news, such as the Supreme Court declares the federal income tax unconstitutional). I also will not be “wandering” the web or dealing with non-essential emails.

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I will post a WHAT’S THE BUZZ entry Saturday at THE WANDERING TAX PRO, and hope to post my review of GYPSY here on Sunday.

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To the handful of clients whose GD extensions have fallen victim to my “manana-disorder” I apologize and thank you for your patience and understanding.

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It is my hope to end the month of June with all GD extensions either done and out or red-filed.

JUKEBOX JAMBOREE

The huge success of the musical adaptation of Mel Brook’s THE PRODUCERS begat the “musicalization” of John Water’s HAIRSPRAY. And just as THE PRODUCERS led to the inevitable YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN musical, the success of HAIRSPRAY led to CRY BABY: THE MUSICAL, which I saw last night at the Marquis Theatre.

I enjoyed the movie version of the HAIRSPRAY musical (although I have not yet seen either the HAIRSPRAY Broadway musical or the original HAIRSPRAY or CRY BABY films) so I thought I would take a chance on CRY BABY when it was presented as a Theatre Development Fund (tdf) offering.

The ticket was only $38.50 and the seats were not bad at all for tdf – 11th row on the extreme right aisle. I have had both good and bad luck with tdf seats – occasionally risking a nose bleed in some of the older theatres.

I knew nothing about CRY BABY, other than the fact that it took place in the 1950s and the movie helped make a star out of then tv heartthrob Johnny Depp, who played a teen-age delinquent like those who high school teachers Glenn Ford and Dick Clark tried to help in THE BLACKBOARD JUNGLE and its clone BECAUSE THEY’RE YOUNG.

Set in Baltimore (where else for a John Waters story) in 1954, the musical tells the Romeo and Juliet-esque tale of “squeaky clean” square, class-conscious preppies versus misunderstood delinquent freaks, as square blonde “never been kissed” debutante Allison Vernon-Williams (Elizabeth Stanley – the ditzy stewardess April in the recent COMPANY revival), tired of being a “good girl”, becomes fascinated with “bad boy” Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker (James Snyder). We see them fall in love during the tender love song “Girl, Can I Kiss You With Tongue”.

The show also stars Harriet Harris (who I remember from tv way before she was FRASER’s agent – as one of Marc Cherry’s original “desperate housewives” in 1994’s unfortunately short-lived sitcom THE 5 MRS BUCHANANS) as Allison’s grandmother Mrs. Vernon-Williams, the queen of Baltimore society, who “Did Something Wrong…Once” (besides that liaison with Hitler).

The score is chock-a-block with energetic toe-tapping 50’s rock and roll music and some witty lyrics (when I could hear them), although nothing memorable (one does not walk out of the theatre humming “Watch Your Ass” or “Screw Loose”).

While not as good as the HAIRSPRAY musical (from what I can tell from having seen only the movie version) with its civil rights theme and drag gimmick, at my $38.50 tdf ticket price it was an entertaining show with a fine cast – well worth the price. However I doubt I would feel the same if I had paid $115.00 for the ticket. I expect that it will make a good movie, if they get around to once again following HAIRSPRAY.

I recently noticed that the original John Waters movie is available for free via Comcast’s ON DEMAND, and now that I have seen the musical I think I will watch it before locking myself behind closed doors next week to catch up on the GD extensions.

TTYL

A LITTLE THIS-A AND A LITTLE THAT-A – WITH THE EMPHASIS ON THE LATTA!

It's too damned hot!

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Today is the anniversary of the birth of Frederick Lowe. I am certainly glad he was born!

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+ The May 31, 2008 edition of the Carnival of Financial Planning at The Skilled Investor’s PERSONAL FINANCE BLOG led me to a posting that may be helpful for those with college-age children (thankfully I am not one – no children of any age) - “Financial Aid Calculator: Using Fafsa4Caster.com to Estimate Your Federal Aid” by Ken Clark at ABOUT.COM: SAVING FOR COLLEGE.

+ The TV SQUAD blog is reporting that “Dark Shadows Comes to the Big Screen”. The word is that Johnny Depp will play Barnabas Collins, the role originated on the ABC soap of the early 70s by Jonathan Frid, and the film will be directed by Tim Burton.

+ The BROADWAY BLOG’s June 8th post reports that Cameron McIntosh is thinking about making a new film of the Broadway classic MY FAIR LADY, perhaps with Keira Knightley as Eliza Doolittle. As the post suggests it certainly does seem a “strange idea to remake one of the best film musicals of all time”. And, for my money, as with just about every other attempted remake of a classic film, a totally unnecessary and unwelcome move. You can’t improve on perfection!

TTYL

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY!

Kudos to former Kid in the Hall and star of the tv sitcom NEWS RADIO Dave Foley for his recent comments on so-called “reality” television!

Foley is quoted in Sunday’s THIS JUST IN feature of the New York News VUE television magazine as saying –

“It’s not real. The situations aren’t real. The only real reality TV is the evening news. It takes a real actor to act real. You put just anyone in front of a camera and what they deliver will look phony. In terms of comedy, I like something skillfully put together, and not with someone making an ass of himself.”

Foley wishes, like any intelligent person, that “reality would just go away.”

I wish more actors and performers would come out against the steaming pile of excrement that reality tv is.

TTYL

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

I finally got down to “the Grave”, or actually Neptune, for at least an overnight. It was a fitting end to two wonderful weeks that were completely “1040 Free”!

I drove down Saturday morning, stopping for breakfast at a diner on Route 9 South. When I got to Ocean Grove I found that it was the day of the Giant Spring Flea Market on Ocean Pathway. As a result just about every parking space in town was taken. Instead of sitting on the boardwalk and reading comic books I sat on a bench alongside Fletcher Lake at the South End border and read.

I also checked out the Asbury Park boardwalk, but there was much construction going on to the various buildings and storefronts. I did discover that Tony Bennett would be doing a benefit concert for the Boys and Girls Club of Monmouth County at the Paramount Theatre on Saturday, June 28th.

It started to rain so I headed to the Crystal Inn at the Routes 35+66 circle, where I had booked a room through hotel.com, to change clothes.

The major reason for this trip was to see the Two River Theatre Company’s production of the original musical MARK TWAIN’S A MURDER, A MYSTERY & A MARRIAGE, with book and lyrics by TRTC Artistic Director Aaron Posner (who also directed) and music by James Sugg, in Red Bank – the final production of the company’s 2007-2008 Theatre Series.

I bought my ticket for the 3:00 pm matinee “at the door” ($38.00) and got an excellent 6th row center seat – I couldn’t have asked for a better one.

The bluegrass musical, which had its world premiere in April 2006 at the Delaware Theatre Company, takes place in Deer Lick, Missouri. It is based on a short story written by Mark Twain in 1876. The small cast, which included an original member of the 50’s singing group The Diamonds (Little Darlin’), did a great job in a very entertaining show. Two thumbs up! They even managed to plug the new 2008-2009 season subscription and advise the audience to turn off cell phones and refrain from opening candy wrappers during the show as part of the opening number.

For dinner I decided to try the newly opened “Old Man Rafferty’s”, which is in the renovated Steinbach Building on Cookman Avenue in Asbury Park. I had a good Meat Loaf dinner and treated myself to Oreo Cookie Cheesecake.

After dining I headed to the Beach Cinema in Bradley Beach, a true “old-fashioned” small town movie theatre, for the 7:00 PM showing of IRON MAN. The ticket price had increased since I last visited – it was now $5.75!

After checking out on Sunday morning I headed to Ocean Grove, where the parking was back to normal, and breakfast of Oatmeal and Pancakes at “The Starving Artist”. I read the paper on the Boardwalk before taking in what turned out to be a private showing of the new INDIANA JONES movie at the multiplex on Route 35 at 11:00 AM.

I had considered taking in the Sunday 3:00 pm matinee of the world premiere of the Billy Van Zandt (brother of rocker Steve Van Zandt and husband of Adrienne Barbeau) and Jane Milmore farce WRONG WINDOW at Brookdale Community College, but decided to head home to my hungry cat instead.

Billy and Jane have written tons of such slapstick farces, a la tv’s THREE’S COMPANY (although not as good). Actually they have written one basic farce and changed the characters and titles some 20+ times. I have seen several of their plays at the Ritz Company Playhouse in Hawley PA, and will probably be able to see this one there in a year or two.

Now that I am back I must take up the GD extensions again, and hopefully have them all done by the end of June!

TTYL

CARNIVAL BALLET

I just returned from an overnight to Nepture and discovered that mMy post on EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A WILL appears in the Carnival of Everything Finance: # 18 at EVERYTHING FINANCE by Tushar Mathur. Look for it under the “Everything Else Finance” category.

While you are there check out Mad Madeline Kane’s poem DEAR IRS from her MAD KANE HUMOR BLOG.

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TTYL

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PS - I will post about my trip Monday or Tuesday.

FRIDAY AT McDONALDS WITH THE STAR LEDGER

I thought this would be a good place for a semi-regular feature of musings and ramblings on what is in the news.

* The first section I go to in Friday’s Star Ledger is TICKET. Today it had a review of the SEX AND THE CITY movie by often witty Stephen Whitty titled “Dressed for Excess”. What it boiled down to was basically - “It’s not really a movie. It’s a clothes catalog that talks.”

You can bet that I am going to pass on this movie. I found the television series practically impossible to sit through on the very few occasions I tried to watch it in hotel rooms while at tax conferences and conventions (I do not subscribe to HBO, Showtime or any of the “premium” movie channels).

It will be an interesting experiment to see if a movie can “make it” with an exclusively female audience. I can’t imagine any straight man actually wanting to see it. I suppose there are also many, many women who would not want to sit through an installment of the DIE HARD franchise.

* TICKET also identified movies that will be opening next Friday. Included was DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN. Another movie on which I will definitely pass. I refuse to see any movie that stars Adam Sandler.

While this conviction is long standing, it was set in stone when Sandler had the unmitigated balls to remake two classic movies (granted one of more stature than the other) in his standard pre-teen fart-humor style. Of course I am talking about MISTER DEEDS GOES TO TOWN and THE LONGEST YARD. What makes this cafone think he can come close to remaking such iconic stars (again, one more than the other) as Gary Cooper or Burt Reynolds. To quote one review of the Deeds remake, “Adam Sandler is to Gary Cooper what a gnat is to a racehorse”.

I also refuse to see any movie that stars Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara’s boy. He did not inherit his parents’ level of talent.

I have found that you will not be disappointed if you avoid any movie that stars a “regular” of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE from any season other than the first two.

* I always enjoy Chris Cassett and Gary Brookins’ SHOE comic strip, especially when it features a press conference by “the Senator”. In today’s installment the Senator tells the press that “I work out every day to clear my mind”. The reporters reply, “It’s working Senator…Everyone agrees it’s completely empty!”

*The front page highlighted the latest “episode” of the McGreevey divorce trial under the headline “McGreevey’s Wife Endures The Heat”.

Dina Matos’ testimony “also discussed the impact of their subsequent separation on her lifestyle, down to where she shopped for her daughter’s clothes: Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom and Talbots were replaced by the Children’s Place, the Gap and Marshalls”. Gee, ain’t that tuff!

Matos complained about having to “stay inside my house with the shades drawn for up to six hours because I had reporters and photographers sitting outside.” But McGreevey’s lawyer countered with the fact that Matos has been a “frequent guest on a variety of high-profile news programs after other political scandals.”

“She testifies she wants to be press-free and photographer-free, and every time there’s a camera she runs right towards it.”

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To be fair, Matos is, to some degree, the “injured party” in this divorce action. And her testimony correctly portrays her ex-husband as “a man consumed by political success”. He was, after all, a professional politician.

However I would not be surprised if her only attraction to McGreevey in the first place was his potential for rising up the political ladder, and the various “perks” that the wife of such a politician would enjoy. It would explain her “cluelessness” to any possible signs of the former governor’s “gaiety” prior to his public outing (half the state, myself included, knew about McGreevey before Dina).

Let us set the record straight (no pun intended). McGreevey did not resign because he was Gay. Being gay is not a crime, or a condition that should preclude one from holding political office – nor is hiding the fact from the public. McGreevey resigned because he was about to be investigated by federal agencies for legal and not social improprieties.

The only crime connected with McGreevey’s gaiety is the fact that he hired his boyfriend Golan “I Am Not Gay” Cipel for a high paying high level government security position. After all, Spitzer did not appoint his “escort” to a New York State commission, nor did Slick Willy make Monica his Secretary of the Interior.

The bottom line – I have no sympathy for either party in this action. They both made their own beds.

* There was an item inside the first section on the controversy of paying retiring state employees for all of the unused sick days that has accumulated during their entire tenure of employment. This came to attention when it was discovered that outgoing Keansburg Superintendent of Schools Barbara Trzeszkowski would be getting $170,137 for 235.5 unused sick days as part of a $740,000 severance package (in addition to a $120,000 per year pension).

This is nothing new - and is not limited to school superintendents. I recall that about a dozen years ago the final W-2s for several retiring upper-rank Jersey City police officers, who happened to be tax clients, were be in excess of a quarter of a million dollars ($250,000). The bulk of this was pay, at current rates, for unused sick pay. I also recall that the resident police station “tax pros” of the day were touting the theory that the payment for accumulated unused sick pay should be taxed under the highly preferential “Ten-Year Averaging” method that was available at that time.

Sick pay is not an “entitlement”. It is an “accommodation” made by the employer. It should be, as it is for the most part in the business world, a “use it or lose it” benefit. A law should be passed that no employee of the State of New Jersey or any political subdivision thereof, will not be able to “bank” unused sick pay for more than (at most) 24 months – and not go back 30 years!

Just another reason why the State of New Jersey is in such a mucking fess, and why I will be moving to Pennsylvania as soon as my parents go to their final audit.

* While I did not see it in today’s Star Ledger, the story about Rachael Ray’s supposed “faux pas” appeared under the Show Biz Buzz heading on my Comcast.net homepage as well as elsewhere around the internet. This story falls under the YHGTBFK category (a free copy of my special report SURFIN’ USA to the first reader who can “translate” this acronym).

It seems that, according to the Boston Globe, Dunkin’ Donuts, for whom Rach is a spokesperson, promptly pulled an ad in which she wore a black and white patterned scarf that somewhat resembles a “keffiyeh” - a traditional headdress worn by Arab men - after conservative commentators became enraged by the ad and even threatened to boycott the company.

What utter nonsense. Give me a break!

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TTYL

A LITTLE THIS-A AND A LITTLE THAT-A – WITH THE EMPHASIS ON THE LATTA!

+ A friend recently pointed me to an item from 1999 at The Daily Howler that sets the record straight about the Al Gore and the claim that he invented the internet.

It is true that Gore could have phrased the comment a bit differently. But this shows what “journalists” can do with a partial or out of context quote.

BTW, the url address for this page ends in “shtml”. WTF does shtml stand for? I assume not the obvious.

+ I do not like annuities – and advise anyone who asks against them. However brokers and other salesmen (remember that a broker is a salesman first) love them because they pay high commissions.

Paul B Farrell over at MARKET WATCH wrote an excellent article on the subject a while back- “Clip Job - Still Bashing Annuities After All These Years, With Good Reason”.

Paul reports that, “In fact annuities have countless, hidden flaws that all too often remain undisclosed until it's too late: excessive commissions, lower returns, payout delays, surrender fees and long lock-ins.” He points out that, “Sales commissions are lucrative for annuity sales agents, some as high as 14%. As a result, the industry attracts aggressive hustlers with questionable ethics preying on vulnerable customers, especially the elderly, a pattern that gives the rest of the industry a bad name.”

He provides an excellent alternative to purchasing an annuity - “Solution: Buy the insurance and the securities separately. Otherwise you're just making your broker richer and yourself broker."

+ Here is an interesting new site I came across in my “wanderings” on the web – Infoplease.com. It is a source of “all the knowledge you need”. It is an online almanac, atlas, dictionary, encyclopedia and thesaurus, etc.

One special feature is an almanac for the year you were born. Click here to read about the year I entered the world.

+ Jim of BLUEPRINT FOR FINANCIAL PROSPERITY discusses “Do It Yourself Identity Theft Protection”.

TTYL

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS

The New York Musical Theatre Festival (NYMF) has announced the first 12 musicals selected for its 5th year. They include –

* About Face - book and lyrics by David Arthur and music by Jeffrey Lodin - Suggested by Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing and set amid the sexually charged hijinks of a mid-1950s college campus, this rollicking, romantic comedy finds Coach Benedick and English Literature Professor Beatrice Stanton waging their "merry war of wits.”

* Bedbugs!! The Musical - book and lyrics by Fred Sauter and music by Paul Leschen - A hell-bent exterminator must save New York City from the mutant bedbugs she accidentally creates in this 80's inspired rock musical fantasy.

* Fucking Up Everything: The Musical - book, music and lyrics by Eric Davis – [No, this is not a musical about the George W Bush presidency! - rdf] What’s the difference between fucking up everything and getting everything you ever fucking wanted? Find out in this boy-meets-girl comedy of errors packed with nasty lyrics, tasty hooks and a dash of punk rock.

Click here to see what else is on the list.

NYMF is great. You can see lots of never-before-seen musicals in small intimate theatres around NYC at a great price. You should become a member!

TTYL

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Last fall I paid a “successful” visit to the Hotel Thayer via a Short Line overnight package, so I thought I would try another one. This time I chose the Historic Newburgh trip.

The tour package, which cost only $190.00 for a Single, was described as follows - “Enjoy the Newburgh waterfront, take a two-hour cruise on the Hudson River, dine at a fine restaurant, and spend time relaxing”. Looking back, the trip was a bit of a jinx – but it certainly could have been a lot worse.

As with all such Short Line offerings, the trip begins at the Port Authority Bus Terminal in NYC. I had two options for departure - 8:30 AM and 10:00 AM. I decided not to have to rise at the crack of dawn, so I selected the later departure time. When booking I was also given the choice of staying at a Ramada Inn or a local bed and breakfast. I chose the Ramada Inn.

I arrived at the Port Authority well ahead of time and had breakfast at Deli Plus before checking in at the Short Line window on the 2nd floor to pick up my instructions, tickets and vouchers. I must point out that I was not given any mention or warning of what might occur by the agent.

The bus, of the Orange County line, was also the one for Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, which apparently is a very popular stop. The lines at Gate 310 were constant, and at one point almost “out the door”. At about 9:45 AM I checked with the gate to see if the current line for my bus. I was told yes and when I asked if I had to go all the way to the end of the line (which was long enough to fill two complete buses) I was asked for my ticket and allowed to board ahead of the “unwashed masses”. So far, so good.

We left on time and took the Lincoln Tunnel to NJ and eventually to Routes 17, 287, and 87 North in New York State. The first stop was Woodbury Common, where all but 7 passengers “debussed”. At about 11:50 AM we were let off at the Short Line Terminal in Newburgh.

The online description of the trip said that I would first go from the Terminal to the Ramada Inn. However the instructions I received that morning said I should call for a free taxi to Newburgh Landing where I would board the Pride of the Hudson for a 2-hour narrated cruise scheduled to leave at 1:00 PM.

According to the Hudson River Adventures website, I would be treated to a cruise on the Hudson with narration by the Captain of the sights along the River including Mt. Beacon, Bannerman Island, Storm King Mountain, Breakneck Mountain, The Catskill Aqueduct, World's End, Cold Spring, and West Point.

I got to the waterfront and located the Pride of the Hudson, but was told that (1) on Thursdays the cruise began at 2:30 PM (it does not run at all on Monday or Tuesday) and (2) there may not be enough passengers to justify running the cruise. Because I was booked in advance by Short Line the ship would go out with just me if I so insisted. I said that I certainly did not want to make them run the cruise just for me and was offered as an alternative the Bannerman Island Cruise and Walking Tour, which apparently was definitely going out, also at 2:30. I was told to go have lunch and return a little after 2:00 to see what was what.

I was actually glad that the cruise departure would be 2:30 instead of 1:00. The package included a $15.00 discount coupon for lunch at the nearby Torches on the Hudson Restaurant and Bar, and I would much prefer lunch at 1:00 to waiting until after 3:00.

I walked to Torches and had an excellent lunch of Seafood Chowder, Crab Cake Sandwich, and Apple Cobbler a la mode. The restaurant’s “Aqua Bar” is the talk of the town, as it features a huge 6,000 gallon salt water aquarium which houses 30 varieties of fish. While dining I overheard someone from another table mentioning that the Bannerman Island excursion involved lots of climbing and walking on steep and rocky ground – so I decided that I would not accept this as an alternative.

I got back to the dock and was told that the ship would not go out unless I insisted and asked, with hopeful anticipation, if I would accept the alternative cruise. I reiterated that I did not want to make the ship waste money if I was the only passenger, but also said that I did not feel like traipsing around an island that I had never heard of, especially as I was schlepping my overnight bag (there were no lockers for storing baggage at the small Short Line Terminal). I said not to worry – I would write to Short Line when I returned and get a “rain check” of some sort.

The ship’s representative was appreciative of my reaction and gave me two (2) gift certificates for a future offering of the cruise and her card so I could get a complimentary cocktail at the ship’s open bar when I came back.

As an aside, my trip to the Hotel Thayer last year was also supposed to include a Hudson River cruise – but the cruise was also not running during my booking and I received a voucher for a free lunch at the hotel instead.

I next decided to explore the waterfront, which, according to the online tour description, “is enjoying a renaissance with 4 new restaurants offering both indoor and outdoor dining, great shops, spa and a shoreline walkway that offers spectacular views”. I discovered only restaurants and bars and a liquor store (where I could get a 10% discount) – but no “great shops”.

The weather all that morning and afternoon was odd. It would start to drizzle, then pour for about 5 minutes, then stop while the sun came out – and continue this process again soon thereafter. I did not have an umbrella, but did not get soaked as timing was with me.

With nothing to do at the waterfront, and the downtown area a long uphill climb away, I decided to go to the hotel. The instructions told me to call for a free taxi back to the Short Line Terminal and then call the hotel to request a pick up by their free shuttle van. I looked for a pay phone, but could not find one.

I went back to Torches where I was told by a bus boy (the host/hostess was away from the station) that there were no pay phones in the restaurant (he did not offer to have someone make a call for me)! I walked up and down the waterfront area again looking for a pay phone with no luck. I stuck my head into a few of the other restaurants and bars along the way and asked if they had a pay phone – but there were none.

Frustrated and tired I walked back to the Torches. This time there was a person at the host station. I mentioned that I had lunch there earlier and needed to call for a taxi – but could not find a pay phone. The host called the Short Line’s designed Bob’s Taxi for me. After thanking the host for his service I asked why there were no pay phones at the waterfront – a public park. He alluded to the assumption that none were needed as everyone now had cell phones. Not so, my friend!

When the taxi arrived I decided not to go through the rigmarole of going back to the Terminal and calling for the shuttle and headed directly for the Ramada Inn Hotel and Conference Center Newburgh/West Point. The hotel was outside of town, on Route 300, not a long trip but certainly not close-by. I was pleasantly surprised when the cabbie told me the fare was only $5.00! It would have been at least three times that much in Jersey City – and more in NYC. It was well worth it to avoid the free but time consuming method in my instructions.

The hotel was pleasant and comfortable. But one more comment on the trip’s online description, which read “The hotel offers great entertainment at their lounge/restaurant for you to enjoy!” - there was Karaoke (if that can truly be called entertainment) on Wednesday nights and a band or DJ on the week-ends – but nothing on Thursday nights.

Similarly, the West Point trip description misled one not familiar with the hotel to think that the Eisenhower Theatre was a part of the Thayer and offered nightly entertainment, when in reality it is a separate building on the West Point campus, similar to the PAC in Newark. Short Line needs to be more accurate in its tour descriptions.

I rested in my room and enjoyed the movie MUSIC AND LYRICS (not to be confused with WORDS AND MUSIC – the fictionalized story of the songwriting partnership of Rodgers and Hart with Mickey Rooney and Tom Drake) on HBO before dining in the hotel’s Café International Restaurant. At first I had the dining room entirely to myself, but was soon joined (in the room and not at my table) by another gentleman dining alone, and then another, and eventually a couple. I taught another bartender how to make a Stinger (Brandy and While Crème de Menthe, 3-to-1) and had Chicken Cordon Bleu, with ice cream for dessert.

In the morning I slept in and had a free continental breakfast in the dining room – again relatively empty. It was not what one would call sumptuous, but it was more than sufficient for me.

The main purpose of the trip was basically to get away from New Jersey and the GD extensions, sleep in a large, comfortable bed (a change from my futon) and hopefully have a leisurely bath (my tub is barely big enough to wash my cat). I succeeded in all but the last – as, while bigger than my apartment tub, the facility was not big enough to comfortably satisfy one of my “girth”.

I checked out at 11:00-ish and sat down in the lobby to do some reading, including proof-reading a tax report I had recently compiled (MY BEST TAX ADVICE). The trip description had said, “When you are ready to return to New York City . . . take any of the regularly scheduled departures” from the Short Line Terminal. I had printed out the schedule beforehand and, as there was nothing to do within walking distance, decided to take the 1:30 bus, which would have me back at the Port Authority Bus Terminal at 3:00 PM. I asked the desk if I could get a ride to the Newburgh Terminal via their shuttle at 12:45 or thereabouts.

There were free copies of the local Times Herald-Record newspaper available in the lobby so I picked one up to read. The front page had a picture of a COACH USA (Short Line) bus with the headline “Nightmare commute – Thousands of families scramble as bus drivers strike.” Going inside I found an item “Short Line workers go out on strike”!

Oi vey! I was supposed to get back to NYC on Short Line – this was, after all, a Short Line package tour. I had not read or heard about a possible strike anywhere before leaving the previous morning (not that I was particularly looking for such information) or that morning as a matter of fact, and, as I said at the beginning, I was given no notice or warning that such an action was eminent, or even possible, when I checked in at Port Authority.

I asked the desk if they had any information and was told that they did not know any more than I did. The article mentioned that Short Line was providing free shuttles to train stations at some bus terminals. There was a train station across the Hudson from Newburgh, a $10.00 taxi ride from the hotel. Worst case scenario, if there was no transportation to the train provided I could call the hotel and their shuttle would come back for me and take me to the local small Stewart International Airport where I could get an inexpensive shuttle bus to the train station.

I decided to “play dumb” (no comments please), take the hotel shuttle to the bus terminal as originally planned, and see what Short Line would tell me. It was my firm belief that, as I was booked on a Short Line tour package and not just some “poor slob” commuter, the bus line was obligated to get me back to NYC at no additional cost. If there were any additional “out of pocket” I would certainly have sent the receipts to Short Line headquarters for reimbursement.

I got to the Short Line Terminal at about 12:45 PM and was told that Trailways would be honoring Short Line tickets, and a Trailways bus would be arriving shortly to take me to NYC. The actual only inconvenience incurred was having to walk the entire length of the parking lot to the revised bus pick-up point (again the inconvenience resulting from my “girth”).

A bus came at 1:00 and I boarded for a non-stop return trip. I was in NYC by 2:30 – a half hour earlier than planned – and by 3:20 I was being greeted at the door to my apartment by a hungry cat!

As I said in the beginning – it could have been a lot worse! Kudos to Short Line and Trailways for working out a deal so that I was not in any way affected by the strike.

While I would book another Short Line overnight in the future, I would make sure to do a lot more homework on the destination and itinerary before doing so.

TTYL