FRIDAY AT McDONALDS WITH THE STAR LEDGER

I thought this would be a good place for a semi-regular feature of musings and ramblings on what is in the news.

* The first section I go to in Friday’s Star Ledger is TICKET. Today it had a review of the SEX AND THE CITY movie by often witty Stephen Whitty titled “Dressed for Excess”. What it boiled down to was basically - “It’s not really a movie. It’s a clothes catalog that talks.”

You can bet that I am going to pass on this movie. I found the television series practically impossible to sit through on the very few occasions I tried to watch it in hotel rooms while at tax conferences and conventions (I do not subscribe to HBO, Showtime or any of the “premium” movie channels).

It will be an interesting experiment to see if a movie can “make it” with an exclusively female audience. I can’t imagine any straight man actually wanting to see it. I suppose there are also many, many women who would not want to sit through an installment of the DIE HARD franchise.

* TICKET also identified movies that will be opening next Friday. Included was DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN. Another movie on which I will definitely pass. I refuse to see any movie that stars Adam Sandler.

While this conviction is long standing, it was set in stone when Sandler had the unmitigated balls to remake two classic movies (granted one of more stature than the other) in his standard pre-teen fart-humor style. Of course I am talking about MISTER DEEDS GOES TO TOWN and THE LONGEST YARD. What makes this cafone think he can come close to remaking such iconic stars (again, one more than the other) as Gary Cooper or Burt Reynolds. To quote one review of the Deeds remake, “Adam Sandler is to Gary Cooper what a gnat is to a racehorse”.

I also refuse to see any movie that stars Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara’s boy. He did not inherit his parents’ level of talent.

I have found that you will not be disappointed if you avoid any movie that stars a “regular” of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE from any season other than the first two.

* I always enjoy Chris Cassett and Gary Brookins’ SHOE comic strip, especially when it features a press conference by “the Senator”. In today’s installment the Senator tells the press that “I work out every day to clear my mind”. The reporters reply, “It’s working Senator…Everyone agrees it’s completely empty!”

*The front page highlighted the latest “episode” of the McGreevey divorce trial under the headline “McGreevey’s Wife Endures The Heat”.

Dina Matos’ testimony “also discussed the impact of their subsequent separation on her lifestyle, down to where she shopped for her daughter’s clothes: Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom and Talbots were replaced by the Children’s Place, the Gap and Marshalls”. Gee, ain’t that tuff!

Matos complained about having to “stay inside my house with the shades drawn for up to six hours because I had reporters and photographers sitting outside.” But McGreevey’s lawyer countered with the fact that Matos has been a “frequent guest on a variety of high-profile news programs after other political scandals.”

“She testifies she wants to be press-free and photographer-free, and every time there’s a camera she runs right towards it.”

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To be fair, Matos is, to some degree, the “injured party” in this divorce action. And her testimony correctly portrays her ex-husband as “a man consumed by political success”. He was, after all, a professional politician.

However I would not be surprised if her only attraction to McGreevey in the first place was his potential for rising up the political ladder, and the various “perks” that the wife of such a politician would enjoy. It would explain her “cluelessness” to any possible signs of the former governor’s “gaiety” prior to his public outing (half the state, myself included, knew about McGreevey before Dina).

Let us set the record straight (no pun intended). McGreevey did not resign because he was Gay. Being gay is not a crime, or a condition that should preclude one from holding political office – nor is hiding the fact from the public. McGreevey resigned because he was about to be investigated by federal agencies for legal and not social improprieties.

The only crime connected with McGreevey’s gaiety is the fact that he hired his boyfriend Golan “I Am Not Gay” Cipel for a high paying high level government security position. After all, Spitzer did not appoint his “escort” to a New York State commission, nor did Slick Willy make Monica his Secretary of the Interior.

The bottom line – I have no sympathy for either party in this action. They both made their own beds.

* There was an item inside the first section on the controversy of paying retiring state employees for all of the unused sick days that has accumulated during their entire tenure of employment. This came to attention when it was discovered that outgoing Keansburg Superintendent of Schools Barbara Trzeszkowski would be getting $170,137 for 235.5 unused sick days as part of a $740,000 severance package (in addition to a $120,000 per year pension).

This is nothing new - and is not limited to school superintendents. I recall that about a dozen years ago the final W-2s for several retiring upper-rank Jersey City police officers, who happened to be tax clients, were be in excess of a quarter of a million dollars ($250,000). The bulk of this was pay, at current rates, for unused sick pay. I also recall that the resident police station “tax pros” of the day were touting the theory that the payment for accumulated unused sick pay should be taxed under the highly preferential “Ten-Year Averaging” method that was available at that time.

Sick pay is not an “entitlement”. It is an “accommodation” made by the employer. It should be, as it is for the most part in the business world, a “use it or lose it” benefit. A law should be passed that no employee of the State of New Jersey or any political subdivision thereof, will not be able to “bank” unused sick pay for more than (at most) 24 months – and not go back 30 years!

Just another reason why the State of New Jersey is in such a mucking fess, and why I will be moving to Pennsylvania as soon as my parents go to their final audit.

* While I did not see it in today’s Star Ledger, the story about Rachael Ray’s supposed “faux pas” appeared under the Show Biz Buzz heading on my Comcast.net homepage as well as elsewhere around the internet. This story falls under the YHGTBFK category (a free copy of my special report SURFIN’ USA to the first reader who can “translate” this acronym).

It seems that, according to the Boston Globe, Dunkin’ Donuts, for whom Rach is a spokesperson, promptly pulled an ad in which she wore a black and white patterned scarf that somewhat resembles a “keffiyeh” - a traditional headdress worn by Arab men - after conservative commentators became enraged by the ad and even threatened to boycott the company.

What utter nonsense. Give me a break!

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TTYL

A LITTLE THIS-A AND A LITTLE THAT-A – WITH THE EMPHASIS ON THE LATTA!

+ A friend recently pointed me to an item from 1999 at The Daily Howler that sets the record straight about the Al Gore and the claim that he invented the internet.

It is true that Gore could have phrased the comment a bit differently. But this shows what “journalists” can do with a partial or out of context quote.

BTW, the url address for this page ends in “shtml”. WTF does shtml stand for? I assume not the obvious.

+ I do not like annuities – and advise anyone who asks against them. However brokers and other salesmen (remember that a broker is a salesman first) love them because they pay high commissions.

Paul B Farrell over at MARKET WATCH wrote an excellent article on the subject a while back- “Clip Job - Still Bashing Annuities After All These Years, With Good Reason”.

Paul reports that, “In fact annuities have countless, hidden flaws that all too often remain undisclosed until it's too late: excessive commissions, lower returns, payout delays, surrender fees and long lock-ins.” He points out that, “Sales commissions are lucrative for annuity sales agents, some as high as 14%. As a result, the industry attracts aggressive hustlers with questionable ethics preying on vulnerable customers, especially the elderly, a pattern that gives the rest of the industry a bad name.”

He provides an excellent alternative to purchasing an annuity - “Solution: Buy the insurance and the securities separately. Otherwise you're just making your broker richer and yourself broker."

+ Here is an interesting new site I came across in my “wanderings” on the web – Infoplease.com. It is a source of “all the knowledge you need”. It is an online almanac, atlas, dictionary, encyclopedia and thesaurus, etc.

One special feature is an almanac for the year you were born. Click here to read about the year I entered the world.

+ Jim of BLUEPRINT FOR FINANCIAL PROSPERITY discusses “Do It Yourself Identity Theft Protection”.

TTYL

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS

The New York Musical Theatre Festival (NYMF) has announced the first 12 musicals selected for its 5th year. They include –

* About Face - book and lyrics by David Arthur and music by Jeffrey Lodin - Suggested by Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing and set amid the sexually charged hijinks of a mid-1950s college campus, this rollicking, romantic comedy finds Coach Benedick and English Literature Professor Beatrice Stanton waging their "merry war of wits.”

* Bedbugs!! The Musical - book and lyrics by Fred Sauter and music by Paul Leschen - A hell-bent exterminator must save New York City from the mutant bedbugs she accidentally creates in this 80's inspired rock musical fantasy.

* Fucking Up Everything: The Musical - book, music and lyrics by Eric Davis – [No, this is not a musical about the George W Bush presidency! - rdf] What’s the difference between fucking up everything and getting everything you ever fucking wanted? Find out in this boy-meets-girl comedy of errors packed with nasty lyrics, tasty hooks and a dash of punk rock.

Click here to see what else is on the list.

NYMF is great. You can see lots of never-before-seen musicals in small intimate theatres around NYC at a great price. You should become a member!

TTYL

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Last fall I paid a “successful” visit to the Hotel Thayer via a Short Line overnight package, so I thought I would try another one. This time I chose the Historic Newburgh trip.

The tour package, which cost only $190.00 for a Single, was described as follows - “Enjoy the Newburgh waterfront, take a two-hour cruise on the Hudson River, dine at a fine restaurant, and spend time relaxing”. Looking back, the trip was a bit of a jinx – but it certainly could have been a lot worse.

As with all such Short Line offerings, the trip begins at the Port Authority Bus Terminal in NYC. I had two options for departure - 8:30 AM and 10:00 AM. I decided not to have to rise at the crack of dawn, so I selected the later departure time. When booking I was also given the choice of staying at a Ramada Inn or a local bed and breakfast. I chose the Ramada Inn.

I arrived at the Port Authority well ahead of time and had breakfast at Deli Plus before checking in at the Short Line window on the 2nd floor to pick up my instructions, tickets and vouchers. I must point out that I was not given any mention or warning of what might occur by the agent.

The bus, of the Orange County line, was also the one for Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, which apparently is a very popular stop. The lines at Gate 310 were constant, and at one point almost “out the door”. At about 9:45 AM I checked with the gate to see if the current line for my bus. I was told yes and when I asked if I had to go all the way to the end of the line (which was long enough to fill two complete buses) I was asked for my ticket and allowed to board ahead of the “unwashed masses”. So far, so good.

We left on time and took the Lincoln Tunnel to NJ and eventually to Routes 17, 287, and 87 North in New York State. The first stop was Woodbury Common, where all but 7 passengers “debussed”. At about 11:50 AM we were let off at the Short Line Terminal in Newburgh.

The online description of the trip said that I would first go from the Terminal to the Ramada Inn. However the instructions I received that morning said I should call for a free taxi to Newburgh Landing where I would board the Pride of the Hudson for a 2-hour narrated cruise scheduled to leave at 1:00 PM.

According to the Hudson River Adventures website, I would be treated to a cruise on the Hudson with narration by the Captain of the sights along the River including Mt. Beacon, Bannerman Island, Storm King Mountain, Breakneck Mountain, The Catskill Aqueduct, World's End, Cold Spring, and West Point.

I got to the waterfront and located the Pride of the Hudson, but was told that (1) on Thursdays the cruise began at 2:30 PM (it does not run at all on Monday or Tuesday) and (2) there may not be enough passengers to justify running the cruise. Because I was booked in advance by Short Line the ship would go out with just me if I so insisted. I said that I certainly did not want to make them run the cruise just for me and was offered as an alternative the Bannerman Island Cruise and Walking Tour, which apparently was definitely going out, also at 2:30. I was told to go have lunch and return a little after 2:00 to see what was what.

I was actually glad that the cruise departure would be 2:30 instead of 1:00. The package included a $15.00 discount coupon for lunch at the nearby Torches on the Hudson Restaurant and Bar, and I would much prefer lunch at 1:00 to waiting until after 3:00.

I walked to Torches and had an excellent lunch of Seafood Chowder, Crab Cake Sandwich, and Apple Cobbler a la mode. The restaurant’s “Aqua Bar” is the talk of the town, as it features a huge 6,000 gallon salt water aquarium which houses 30 varieties of fish. While dining I overheard someone from another table mentioning that the Bannerman Island excursion involved lots of climbing and walking on steep and rocky ground – so I decided that I would not accept this as an alternative.

I got back to the dock and was told that the ship would not go out unless I insisted and asked, with hopeful anticipation, if I would accept the alternative cruise. I reiterated that I did not want to make the ship waste money if I was the only passenger, but also said that I did not feel like traipsing around an island that I had never heard of, especially as I was schlepping my overnight bag (there were no lockers for storing baggage at the small Short Line Terminal). I said not to worry – I would write to Short Line when I returned and get a “rain check” of some sort.

The ship’s representative was appreciative of my reaction and gave me two (2) gift certificates for a future offering of the cruise and her card so I could get a complimentary cocktail at the ship’s open bar when I came back.

As an aside, my trip to the Hotel Thayer last year was also supposed to include a Hudson River cruise – but the cruise was also not running during my booking and I received a voucher for a free lunch at the hotel instead.

I next decided to explore the waterfront, which, according to the online tour description, “is enjoying a renaissance with 4 new restaurants offering both indoor and outdoor dining, great shops, spa and a shoreline walkway that offers spectacular views”. I discovered only restaurants and bars and a liquor store (where I could get a 10% discount) – but no “great shops”.

The weather all that morning and afternoon was odd. It would start to drizzle, then pour for about 5 minutes, then stop while the sun came out – and continue this process again soon thereafter. I did not have an umbrella, but did not get soaked as timing was with me.

With nothing to do at the waterfront, and the downtown area a long uphill climb away, I decided to go to the hotel. The instructions told me to call for a free taxi back to the Short Line Terminal and then call the hotel to request a pick up by their free shuttle van. I looked for a pay phone, but could not find one.

I went back to Torches where I was told by a bus boy (the host/hostess was away from the station) that there were no pay phones in the restaurant (he did not offer to have someone make a call for me)! I walked up and down the waterfront area again looking for a pay phone with no luck. I stuck my head into a few of the other restaurants and bars along the way and asked if they had a pay phone – but there were none.

Frustrated and tired I walked back to the Torches. This time there was a person at the host station. I mentioned that I had lunch there earlier and needed to call for a taxi – but could not find a pay phone. The host called the Short Line’s designed Bob’s Taxi for me. After thanking the host for his service I asked why there were no pay phones at the waterfront – a public park. He alluded to the assumption that none were needed as everyone now had cell phones. Not so, my friend!

When the taxi arrived I decided not to go through the rigmarole of going back to the Terminal and calling for the shuttle and headed directly for the Ramada Inn Hotel and Conference Center Newburgh/West Point. The hotel was outside of town, on Route 300, not a long trip but certainly not close-by. I was pleasantly surprised when the cabbie told me the fare was only $5.00! It would have been at least three times that much in Jersey City – and more in NYC. It was well worth it to avoid the free but time consuming method in my instructions.

The hotel was pleasant and comfortable. But one more comment on the trip’s online description, which read “The hotel offers great entertainment at their lounge/restaurant for you to enjoy!” - there was Karaoke (if that can truly be called entertainment) on Wednesday nights and a band or DJ on the week-ends – but nothing on Thursday nights.

Similarly, the West Point trip description misled one not familiar with the hotel to think that the Eisenhower Theatre was a part of the Thayer and offered nightly entertainment, when in reality it is a separate building on the West Point campus, similar to the PAC in Newark. Short Line needs to be more accurate in its tour descriptions.

I rested in my room and enjoyed the movie MUSIC AND LYRICS (not to be confused with WORDS AND MUSIC – the fictionalized story of the songwriting partnership of Rodgers and Hart with Mickey Rooney and Tom Drake) on HBO before dining in the hotel’s Café International Restaurant. At first I had the dining room entirely to myself, but was soon joined (in the room and not at my table) by another gentleman dining alone, and then another, and eventually a couple. I taught another bartender how to make a Stinger (Brandy and While Crème de Menthe, 3-to-1) and had Chicken Cordon Bleu, with ice cream for dessert.

In the morning I slept in and had a free continental breakfast in the dining room – again relatively empty. It was not what one would call sumptuous, but it was more than sufficient for me.

The main purpose of the trip was basically to get away from New Jersey and the GD extensions, sleep in a large, comfortable bed (a change from my futon) and hopefully have a leisurely bath (my tub is barely big enough to wash my cat). I succeeded in all but the last – as, while bigger than my apartment tub, the facility was not big enough to comfortably satisfy one of my “girth”.

I checked out at 11:00-ish and sat down in the lobby to do some reading, including proof-reading a tax report I had recently compiled (MY BEST TAX ADVICE). The trip description had said, “When you are ready to return to New York City . . . take any of the regularly scheduled departures” from the Short Line Terminal. I had printed out the schedule beforehand and, as there was nothing to do within walking distance, decided to take the 1:30 bus, which would have me back at the Port Authority Bus Terminal at 3:00 PM. I asked the desk if I could get a ride to the Newburgh Terminal via their shuttle at 12:45 or thereabouts.

There were free copies of the local Times Herald-Record newspaper available in the lobby so I picked one up to read. The front page had a picture of a COACH USA (Short Line) bus with the headline “Nightmare commute – Thousands of families scramble as bus drivers strike.” Going inside I found an item “Short Line workers go out on strike”!

Oi vey! I was supposed to get back to NYC on Short Line – this was, after all, a Short Line package tour. I had not read or heard about a possible strike anywhere before leaving the previous morning (not that I was particularly looking for such information) or that morning as a matter of fact, and, as I said at the beginning, I was given no notice or warning that such an action was eminent, or even possible, when I checked in at Port Authority.

I asked the desk if they had any information and was told that they did not know any more than I did. The article mentioned that Short Line was providing free shuttles to train stations at some bus terminals. There was a train station across the Hudson from Newburgh, a $10.00 taxi ride from the hotel. Worst case scenario, if there was no transportation to the train provided I could call the hotel and their shuttle would come back for me and take me to the local small Stewart International Airport where I could get an inexpensive shuttle bus to the train station.

I decided to “play dumb” (no comments please), take the hotel shuttle to the bus terminal as originally planned, and see what Short Line would tell me. It was my firm belief that, as I was booked on a Short Line tour package and not just some “poor slob” commuter, the bus line was obligated to get me back to NYC at no additional cost. If there were any additional “out of pocket” I would certainly have sent the receipts to Short Line headquarters for reimbursement.

I got to the Short Line Terminal at about 12:45 PM and was told that Trailways would be honoring Short Line tickets, and a Trailways bus would be arriving shortly to take me to NYC. The actual only inconvenience incurred was having to walk the entire length of the parking lot to the revised bus pick-up point (again the inconvenience resulting from my “girth”).

A bus came at 1:00 and I boarded for a non-stop return trip. I was in NYC by 2:30 – a half hour earlier than planned – and by 3:20 I was being greeted at the door to my apartment by a hungry cat!

As I said in the beginning – it could have been a lot worse! Kudos to Short Line and Trailways for working out a deal so that I was not in any way affected by the strike.

While I would book another Short Line overnight in the future, I would make sure to do a lot more homework on the destination and itinerary before doing so.

TTYL

PERFUME CAN COVER A STENCH. THAT’S WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE FRENCH.

Shame on USA TODAY for giving any kind of credibility to the VH1 “celeb-reality” garbage, such as “Rock of Love”, “I Love New York”, and “Flavor of Live”, with a Cover Story on the front page of Thursday’s LIFE section.

All the perfume in France could not cover up the stench coming from this collection of soft-core porn steaming piles of excrement.

Speaking of excrement, when a panel of “stars” from VH1 was asked about the most memorable moments from the shows, Flavor Flav said, “One of the most memorable moments in the history of reality TV was when that girl shit on my floor.”

Someone else responded, “No, I’d say it’s Mini-Me pissing on the carpet” from “The Surreal Life”.

TTYL

IF I RULED THE WORLD (OR AT LEAST NEW JERSEY)

Do you want to know how to solve the State of New Jersey’s budget crisis? Pass the following laws:

(1) No individual may simultaneously hold more than two paying positions in which the wages are funded directly or indirectly by the State of New Jersey, or any Department or Division thereof, or any political subdivision thereof (i.e. county or municipality). [You can be a councilman and a freeholder or a councilman and a state senator at the same time, but you cannot be a councilman, a freeholder, a state senator, and a paid member of the school board or police department at the same time]

(2) An individual who simultaneously holds two paying positions in which the wages are funded directly or indirectly by the State of New Jersey, or any Department or Division thereof, or any political subdivision thereof will be eligible for only one set of health insurance benefits. The individual will be eligible for the higher level of benefit of the two positions.

(3) If an individual who holds a paying position in which the wages are funded directly or indirectly by the State of New Jersey, or any Department or Division thereof, or any political subdivision thereof is currently covered under the health insurance benefits of a spouse who holds a paying position in which the wages are funded directly or indirectly by the State of New Jersey, or any Department or Division thereof, or any political subdivision thereof he/she is not eligible for health insurance benefits, or additional compensation in lieu of benefits, from his/her position.

(4) An individual who simultaneously holds two paying positions in which the wages are funded directly or indirectly by the State of New Jersey or any Department or Division thereof, or any political subdivision thereof will be eligible for only one pension from the New Jersey Division of Pensions based on the higher paying position. The wages shall not be combined in determining pension benefits.

(5) If an individual who holds a paying position in which wages are funded directly or indirectly by the State of New Jersey, or any Department or Division, or political subdivision thereof elects to waive health insurance benefits in lieu of benefits provided elsewhere his additional compensation will be limited to the “out of pocket” cost, if any, of the alternative benefits.

(6) An individual who holds a paying position in which wages are funded directly or indirectly by the State of New Jersey, or any Department or Division, or political subdivision thereof will not be able to collect pension benefits from the New Jersey Division of Pensions while employed in and receiving wages from such position.

That would probably solve the entire problem and then some without cutting any essential services! I expect we could even decrease the state sales tax rate.

TTYL

WHAT A PIECE OF WORK IS MAN

I just got this email as a bulk “forward” -

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“It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy. These are also the people that vote in this country! Here are the Stella's for the past year:

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7TH PLACE- Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

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6TH PLACE - Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.

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5TH PLACE - Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more...

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4TH PLACE - Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun. Grrrrr ..... Scratch, scratch.

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3RD PLACE - Third place goes to Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions? Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stellas to go...

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2ND PLACE - Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000.... oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

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1ST PLACE - (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please) This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.”

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The solution to this kind of nonsense? As I quoted in a recent THE WANDERING TAX PRO posting on class action suits – “The first thing we do is kill all the lawyers!”

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TTYL

IS A PUZZLEMENT - PART II

Here is the answer to the question posed in yesterday’s posting.

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She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.

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If you answered this correctly you think like a psychopath.

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According to the email, this was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to determine if someone has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.

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If you didn't answer the question correctly good for you!

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If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can avoid future contact.

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TTYL

IS A PUZZLEMENT - PART I

I recently received an email with the question posed below.

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This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.

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Here goes -

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A woman, while at the funeral of her mother, met a man who she did not previously know. She thought he was amazing. She believed him to be her dream partner so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him after the funeral. A few days later she killed her sister.

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Question: What was her motive for killing her sister?

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Give this some thought. I will post the answer tomorrow.

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FYI, my longtime friend Carmen "the Bear" told me he got the answer correct.

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TTYL

EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A WILL

I do believe that just about everyone should have a will of some kind.

You do not have to spend lots of money on an expensive lawyer (redundant). There are many will kits available online and at office supply stores that will do just fine if your finances and family situation are relatively simple. I should point out that the laws regarding wills and estates vary from state to state and you should make sure that any will kit you purchase will apply to your particular state regulations.

Those with more complicated situations should consult a professional.

It is very, very, very important that once you have written a will you review it periodically as your situation, and that of your executor or beneficiaries, changes. This is especially important for elderly individuals. A recent real-life situation emphasized this fact for me.

Money can totally destroy family relationships and lifelong friendships. In this particular case family relationships have been irrevocable damaged beyond repair.

The will in this situation was for an elderly widow with no children. In it she named her brother as executor. However her brother had passed away several years before. No contingent executor was named.

First of all, while not applicable to this specific situation, I firmly believe that you should never make a lawyer your executor. Your executor can decide to retain a lawyer for assistance if appropriate. This is just my personal opinion. I have no problem with naming a financial professional or the Trust Department of your bank as an executor – I am just against choosing a lawyer.

Every will should list a contingent executor, or executrix, in case the primary one cannot fulfill his/her duties. In this particular case the will should have been revised upon the death of the brother. However if a contingent executor had been named it would have been “more better”.

One of the beneficiaries of the estate, which was in six figures, was a sister who was currently living in a nursing home paid for by state Medicaid funds. Any monies inherited by this person would eventually go directly to Medicaid. I expect that the deceased, a 1040 client of mine, did not intend to have any of her savings go to Medicaid. The will should have been revised when it was determined that the sister would be a permanent resident of a nursing home.

The problems began when the person who could be identified as her “caregiver” – the only one of several nieces and nephews who attempted to take care of her in her old age, who held her Power of Attorney, and who advanced all the money for her funeral expenses – upon discovering her will among her personal effects consulted an attorney. Without going into specifics, the lawyer eventually, in my opinion, stabbed this person (a close personal friend) in the back – and he ended up substantially “out of pocket” for his own legal fees.

What this person should have done upon discovering the will, again in my opinion, was take it directly to the county Surrogate’s office and explain that he was the deceased’s caregiver and held Power of Attorney and that the executor named in the will had predeceased his aunt. The County Surrogate would have probably named this person the Administrator of the estate, as should have been.

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Unfortunately involving a lawyer ended up making the situation truly FUBAR. Forget about "beware of Greeks bearing gifts" - beware of lawyers, period!

So if you don’t have a will, get one. If you do, review it. And tell your elderly relatives (parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles) and friends to review theirs.

Any comments?

TTYL

AIN'T BROADWAY GRAND!

The American Theatre Wing has announced the nominations for 2008 Tony Awards.

Lightning has not struck twice. While Mel Brook’s THE PRODUCERS broke all records taking home just about every Tony for a musical, and deservedly so, his YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN only got three (3) nominations – Featured Actor, Featured Actress and Scenic Design.

THE HEIGHTS got the most nominations for a musical – 13. The revival of SOUTH PACIFIC, the first Broadway revival since the original production, came in second with 11. SUNDAY IN THE PARK ETC got 9, GYPSY 7 and PASSING STRANGE also 7. I have yet to see any of the musicals which opened this season – but will be going to GYPSY this summer.

The word on GYPSY is great from all sources. The house-mate of a long-time client is "in the business" and ran into Stephen Sondheim in SARDI's one evening. SS raved about Patti Lupone and the production.

Speaking of SS - he will receive the Lifetime Achievement Award this year. The Regional Theatre Award will go to the Chicago Shakespeare Company.

The only plays I have seen this “season” were BOEING-BOEING and NOVEMBER. I was surprised that Nathan Lane was not nominated for NOVEMBER. The show’s only nomination was for Laurie Metcalf as Featured Actress.

BOEING-BOEING was nominated for Leading Actor (Mark Rylance – from the original West End production), Featured Actress (Mary McCormack), Director (Matthew Warchus), and Costume and Sound Design.

The Tony Awards will air at 8:00 PM on Sunday, June 15th on CBS.

Click here for the complete list of nominees.

TTYL